Stitch Fix Review: Summer 2015 Maternity

Hi there. Genevieve, the pregnant lady here. Maybe some of you didn't even know that I'm pregnant because this is my third baby and we all know the jokes about how much attention third kids (don't) get! So anyway, since I'm such a multi-tasker, let this serve as pregnancy announcement too! I've got one happy, bouncy, kick-y, and as-adorable-as-an-alien-ultradsound-pic can show little one growing in me! Makes me smile many times a day! 

But you know what doesn't always make me smile? Frumpiness. Being unable to move much. Nausea. Swelling. Un-sexiness. A booty that has grown to own it's own zip code. I'm going to be honest...this pregnancy is absolutely kicking my butt! 

Because of all that, I really don't feel pretty. At all. I've been feeling the major need to fix myself up and feel a little confident about myself with some new clothes, especially in the summer! You know what else I'm also about to tell you? I've never really bought new maternity clothes. 

Hold up. Yes. Pause.

That's ridiculous, isn't it?! If there is ONE time when a woman should be able to drop $50 on brand new clothing to look cute and dainty and adorable (and any other word I don't feel while pregnant), it should be during her pregnancy. CAN I GET AN AMEN?? 

This being my third pregnancy and my toughest, I set aside my super-frugal, hand-me-down-only ways and have bought a couple tops. Relief! And I felt pretty in them! However, shopping is even more difficult when you're sick a lot and you're managing busy, everyday life along with staying busy teaching about essential oils. When I heard several months ago that Stitch Fix, a personal styling service that is tailored to your taste, lifestyle and budget, was now offering Maternity Fixes, I knew that was on my to do list! (Psst: they are also offering Petite Fixes too!)

I've been using Stitch Fix for over a year and I LOVE it. You can read my first review here. I cannot stress the convenience and also how attentive my stylists have been to my needs.  And as I'm always honest (I just called my baby a little alien-looking, how much more honest can you get?) I want to provide a review for of my first maternity Stitch Fix! 

I want to set the stage a bit: 

• I have had great experiences with Stitch Fix in the past.
• I LOVE the free shipping -- both ways!
• I live in a small town without very many shopping options so this saves me much time and money.
• I'm normally a size small or extra small and I have problems with Stitch Fix clothes being too big on me as their size small seems bigger than my normal size small. But when I'm pregnant, I gain weight. And quickly. More on this later.
• My maternity Fix came super fast! Less than a week!
• I asked specifically for things that were feminine and flow-y (all the things I'm NOT feeling right now at 31 weeks pregnant), a long white dress for a maternity photo shoot, and said I wanted NOTHING above the knees. I have a permanent request for no accessories. I can grab a necklace at Target in two minutes but it takes me two hours to grab one top from Target.

I received my Stitch and was overjoyed! Christmas! In the summer! 

My selections chosen by my stylist, Patrice

Stitch Fix Maternity Box

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I read the above note and got nervous. I mean, I NEED a beautiful white dress for my maternity shoot! Need. Earth-stopping otherwise. C'mon, Patrice, where is my white dress??

I tore apart my box like the crazy pregnant lady I am. I started trying stuff on immediately! 

Loveappella Peasant Maternity Top, size S, $34:

I really like this top! It's flow-y, loose, comfortable and will, like my stylist suggested, fit well postpartum! The neckline has a slight dip so it's not just a boring black shirt. I have ROOM TO GROW in this shirt! However, I don't know if I'll get much use out of it right now in the summer heat but for $34 and lots of versatility, I really can't go wrong! It will also be easy for nursing postpartum!

Verdict: Keep.

3-Pack Maternity Cami, Size S, $44:

Camis are essential to any pregnant or nursing mother's wardrobe! Necessary! But being that this is my third baby, I have lots already. These colors were great but not only do I have these already, but they were bit small on my growing chest. However, they were VERY supportive!

Verdict: Return.

Full Moon Maternity Knit Top,  Size S, $48.

This shirt is cute. Adorable actually. The contrasting colors really pop and it fit well with some room to grow over my belly. My girls up to were feeling a bit crowded though! The fabric of this shirt wasn't the best quality, which was disappointing for a $48 shirt. I also didn't feel like I 'needed' this shirt. I wanted more feminine and beautiful and I felt this shirt said Soccer Mom.

Verdict: Return.

Full Moon Liam Lace Henley Maternity Top in Teal Green, Size S, $48.

This photo doesn't even do the color on this top justice! So perfect and fresh! I love the lace neckline and the arms are very slimming with the 3/4ths sleeve buttons. I didn't feel like I had much room to grow in this - neither in my tummy or chest (and both will continue to grow!). Had I got this in my second trimester, I probably would've kept it. Dang. 

Verdict: Return.

Either Sixty Gabre Maternity Dress in Navy, Size S, $94.

YOU ALL...this dress is a show stopper! Gorgeous! My husband loved this on me as well. Love the partially open back, the placement of the waist band and the gentle nature of this this dress. However, I can't wear anything above the knees whilst pregnant as I have an UGLY varicose vein and this is REALLY above the knees on a girl like me who is 5'8".  If I were to even sit down in this dress, everyone would get to see what my midwife sees. Hello! It was also, again, too tight on my chest. I'm sensing a theme here... The fabric was clinging together for its dear, precious, God-blessed life across my girls. If it would have been coral or light pink or cream in color AND a bigger size, I maybe would've kept it and paired it with black leggings. But I'm not sure for $94. I know I could've got some leggings to wear with this navy colored dress but I really don't want to. That's the point: I have no desire to go shopping. And plus, different colored leggings won't make my boobs shrink. Sigh. I HATE sending this back, but it's for the best. Find your new home, little friend! I loved you for every minute I wore you!

Verdict: Return. 

In the end:

I kept only one piece of my 5-piece Maternity Fix, a $34 shirt, so that's not bad! I was bummed that I didn't have more flow-y stuff, MY WHITE DRESS WAS MISSING and things seems to be a little snug on my chest. However, I'm not super bummed about it because I know I've gained weight and exponentially grown in the chest, making it difficult for my usual sizes to fit me. How was my dear stylist, Patrice, to know that I'm REALLY serious with this whole, "I get really big when I'm pregnant" thing? 

I'm currently debating getting another Fix! Since it came so fast and now I can tell my stylist to find more items in size medium for this mama, it may be an option. What do you think? Worth it or not for only 8-ish more weeks of pregnancy? 


Disclaimer: Yes, I am affiliated with Stitch Fix and get compensation for my efforts. However, I think you can see I'm more than honest in my reviews and I'm not afraid to say what I didn't like and what I loved! If you want to sign up for a regular Stitch Fix, a Maternity Stitch Fix or a Petite Stitch Fix, I'd be honored if you'd use my referral link!  

14 things you didn't know (or forgot) about the postpartum days

I've just finished my second round of postpartum days and there were so many things I forgot about.  The days after baby can leave a new mom or a veteran, feeling confused and sometimes even shocked!  This was my second vaginal birth but some of these will apply to c-section mamas too.  Read with caution, folks, I'm all-out honest in this one! 

1. Your tummy is going to look SO small after that baby comes out!  You will feel skinny and maybe even ready to show off a bit.  Yay you, you supermodel! And then, suddenly, it won't.  One day, you'll wake up and feel huge -- almost like you are pregnant.  You'll wonder when the pooch will disappear. (By the way, it takes a lot longer for the pooch to disappear after the second and subsequent pregnancies.) And what are you supposed to wear during these weeks (months)? No one knows! No one has a solution! You can't wear your regular clothes yet and your maternity clothes make you feel really shitty about your life accomplishments or lack thereof. Just know you're not alone, sister.  

Comparing my belly after baby #1 and baby #2, 2 weeks and 6 weeks postpartum. 

2. Speaking of tummies...yours will feel like a loaf of bread dough, sitting on the counter, waiting to rise.  Mushy, squishy, flubby and kind of dried out on the top.  You can shake it around and poke it if you'd like.  In fact, I recommend doing this as it is entertaining.  It's better to laugh than cry, right? 

3. Afterbirth pains are the B word.  These things surprised me after the birth of my first baby.  I remember having a room full of visitors and feeling like I was going to throw up as my uterus was contracting.  Second time around was MUCH worse, especially while nursing.  Oh my, these things hurt!  Some of them were as intense as my contractions towards the end of my labor!  I tried some natural remedies, which took the edge off and I took some Motrin, which made them slightly more tolerable.  My conclusion: they're just going to hurt like the bad mama jamas they are.  Try to remember that they are making your uterus smaller, which is a very, very good thing for many reasons.

4. And since we're getting personal here...you should just change your name to Body Fluid Leaker.  Because that's what it's going to feel like.  You go to the bathroom and leak.  Your baby cries and your boobs leak.  You don't have the right bread at home and you leak tears out of your eyeballs.  You get out of the shower and you don't what you should try to stop and clean up first:  the milk that is leaking everywhere or the blood leaking from your downstairs.  Decisions, decisions.

5. It takes a while to go to the bathroom after a vaginal delivery.  You've got to get the water in the peri bottle the correct temperature, get your ginormous size-of-Texas-pad ready, and make sure your pain relief measures (I use Earth Mama Angel Baby New Mama Bottom Balm- it is the absolute BEST!) are within reach.  Then you need to psych yourself up to pee, get the correct angle to spray (angle is everything) and pee at the same time.  And if you run out of water before you're done peeing? This is the worst. Now how to dry yourself after your personal bidet experience?  Do you use toilet paper and get toilet paper bits stuck to your lady parts?  Do you air dry?  Blow dry?  Just pull up your ginormous postpartum underwear?  That's all for you to figure out.

6. Shit hurts.  Pardon my language, but postpartum poop isn't always very fun.  End of story.  And if you have postpartum hemorrhoids, you need this essential oil - Cypress.  You can order it here from Young Living. I haven't been 'blessed' with hemorrhoids but I hear they are awful.

7. You may be really thirsty or really hungry or you may be neither or everything.  I'm always doggone thirsty in the postpartum days.  Food tastes icky to me and I spend the first few weeks gagging down my meals.

8. Modesty?  Ha!  Yeah, you forgot about that as soon as your first contraction started.  Don't worry, it will (most likely) come back to you at some point.

9. Lochia...you're not just going to bleed blood.  There's blood, tissue, mucus, other stuffs and clots.  And did I mention, other stuffs?  Because there is other stuffs. You may wonder what's going to come out of there next!  A rubber boot?  An old tire?  Sure!  And the clots... It's a little concerning if you don't remember passing clots or no one told you that you would pass clots, and some the size of what feels like a school bus. 

10. Your boobs are gonna hurt.  They might hurt when your baby latches, they might hurt 2 days into your breastfeeding journey, they might hurt when your milk comes in.  Or all of the above. Don't let that discourage you from breastfeeding, just flow with it (get it?) and get help from a lactation consultant. And your boobs are gonna get huge.  You will wonder how something fluid and dainty and so wonderful, like milk, can produce boulders. Who knew? Your boobs used to be so soft and cuddly and pillow-y and now they could be weapons.

11. You just might reach a new level of Craaaaaaaayyyy-zayyyyyy you didn't think was possible. These hormones are no joke. They are better than the best amusement park rollercoaster! I didn't know it was possible to say as many mean things AND loving things to my husband within a 3-minute period of time. And don't kid yourself; maybe you don't say them but we all sure as heck think them! 

12. You might suddenly get an urge to go on a run or rearrange your entire house or repaint your deck, because you feel so empowered that YOU just birthed a baby out of your vagina, but don't do those things.  Just rest.  Self (yes, I REALLY need to hear this), it's OK to rest.  You can run marathons later. OK? OK.

13. You will cry.  And cry.  And cry some more.  Your baby's umbilical stump fell off?  Waterworks, because before you know it, you'll be sending him off to college.  (You may even cry as you debate about throwing out the stump or saving it. Do whatever you want, no judgment here, mama.)  Your baby lets out the cutest little fart and your eyes leak tears because you didn't know anything, anything could be so gosh darn special!  Saw that new car commercial on TV, the one with the car veering effortlessly through the mountains?  Yep, crying, because you're nervous that maybe your baby might not pass his driver's test right away or he might go camping someday and encounter a wild bear or perhaps he'll become a firefighter, risking his life, fighting forest fires in those mountains that the car just drove by!  You will look at your husband and cry, because you can't believe you've been blessed like this.  (You may also tear up when you write a blog post and mention crying.)

14.  There is NOTHING that smells as good as your little baby.  Mmmm!  And there is no rush like nuzzling with your freshling and listening to their breath and watching their milk-drunk sleep smiles.  And their coos and hiccups will give you butterflies!  And I can't think of anything to be more proud of than the feeling of "He's mine -- I made him.  That's my son, I love him and he is worth every bit of this and more."

Postpartum Rest

My son is now one week old and I'm SO in love with him!  While I have relived the moments of his birth so many times in my mind, part of me still feels like I'm pregnant!  Yeesh!  I don't loooooove being pregnant. 

This pregnancy was way easier on me than my first in that I didn't have PUPPP or many of the other ailments that were breaking me down!  Thank God.  After my first pregnancy, I came out of it feeling like I needed a vacation.  India was a great sleeper (so is Mylo!) so I got good sleep at night, but what really wore me out was the postpartum period. 

Yes, those postpartum days were rough.

Between a tiring pregnancy, adapting to life with a newborn, Caaa-RAAAY-Zay hormones, a body that hadn't had a chance to rest after labor and birth, learning how to breastfeed, healing physically and a steady stream of visitors and well-wishers, by about 5 days postpartum, I was done with it all! 

We started dreaming of 'the next time' and the things we could do differently.

Many of the above are things I can't control - adapting to life with two little ones, healing, adapting to newbornland again (as I affectionately like to call it), and weird hormones - all out of my control.

But there were several steps we took to try to make this postpartum period as stress-free as possible.

~We made freezer meals.  I made 25 of them about a month before my due date.  This has freed up a lot of time and thought - we just grab whatever sounds good out of the freezer and toss it in the convection oven.  Minimal mess and dishes as well! 

~My husband took time off of work (for the most part) and committed to being home to help.  On days when he's been home and I'm not on my feet, it is unbelievable how much better I feel physically.  He has done the majority of the housework...me likey!

~I committed to napping and resting as wanted/needed.  If that means I play a movie for India and I lay down on the couch, so be it.  Or it might mean taking both kids to bed and taking a nap together.  Or maybe my husband watches India while Mylo and I sleep.  I don't think I got a nap in until about 10 days postpartum with India.  It wasn't good.

~We've said 'no' to visitors outside of the hospital.  This was one we wanted to implement after India was born, so I could rest, take baths and recuperate, but we didn't.  We both agreed that there would be no visitors this time, as hard as that could be to explain.  The stress of coordinating visitors around sitz baths, naps and breastfeeding, sitting up for hours (ouch on the downstairs!), keeping the house clean and keeping conversation alive when I just really wanted to curl up with my new baby was overwhelming.   Don't get me wrong, it was great to see people and hear their excitement and joy over a new little life, but hours of it for days on end was just too much. 

All of the above have made for a fairly smooth postpartum period - night and day difference from last time.  I have rested, slept and cuddled with my babies, played with my toddler, had time to think and relax and just enjoy this postpartum period by resting.  I've been so thankful for this last week and that it's filled with memories of rest and peace!

After all, before I know it, I'll be chasing these two little ones around, so I better soak up this time while I can! 

My beautiful children!

 
Did you have time to rest postpartum?  Is there anything you would do differently to make your postpartum period more enjoyable?

Naming a Little Person

Giving a name to a pet can take some thought.  Naming a person, can take months of deliberation for some. In some instances, it's fairly simple and doesn't take a lot of consideration.  

For me, it takes months!  I'm the type of person who likes to try to think of everything.  Nicknames, popularity, pronunciation, etc, etc.  Because the meaning and significance of a name means so much to us, I think and perhaps over-analyzed every.single.name that came our way.  Here is a little explanation as to why I think about names so much.

We don't find out the gender of our babies, so we made a list of boy names and a list of girl names.  Girl names are easier for us to agree on.  It's not that we disagree on boy names, it's just that we have a hard time finding ones that meet our criteria.  We can't know anyone else with the name.  Therefore, it has to be unique.  But not too unique...especially for a boy. 

Image courtesy of my sister/photographer/friend, Vanessa, Jewels & Treasures

When our son was born, we tossed around the three or four names we liked and decided we'd just sleep on it.  As the next day arrived, I felt the pressure mounting to name him.  We talked about it and decided that it I needed to let it go and not be bothered by the stress.  We decided to call him by the name that had become our favorite for the next day or so to see if it fit him.  And guess what?  It did! 

I'm so glad we took the last two days to think, pray, observe and let our little man's name sink in!

Introducing....

                                  Mylo Kenneth

Mylo:

~means peaceful, gracious, merciful soldier
~MY LOve
~Mylo was conceived around the time we had a special time away and heard a great band perform, Milo Greene.  Listen to a couple of their top hits, Autumn Tree or 1957  (which our daughter India likes to sing along to).  They have become a favorite and no doubt, inspired our name choice.
~While we both agreed wholeheartedly on the names of our kids, I came up with our daughter's name, India Josephine, and my husband came up with our son's name, Mylo Kenneth.  We didn't plan it that way, or set out to do it like that, it just happened!

Kenneth: 

~means born of fire and handsome

~Dallas' Dad and paternal Grandfather both shared the name of Kenneth
~Dallas' Dad has been an example of a godly, patient and loving man.  Obviously, he has had profound influence on Dallas.  If you know my father-in-law, you know how personable and respected he is: everyone loves him!


     Our prayer is that Mylo Kenneth, our peaceful, gracious boy, would know he is loved and celebrated.  We pray that music and praise will always be a part of his life!  We can only hope he follows in the footsteps of his grandfather, his life seasoned with patience, love for God and a deep sense of concern for others!

Grandpa Ken and Mylo

PS: Yes, we like Coldplay, but Mylo's not named after Mylo Xyloto! ;)

It's a....

BOY!!!!

We are thrilled to announce the arrival of our son on Tuesday, August 14, 2012! 
He was born at 2:34 am, at almost 42 weeks gestation.

He is gorgeous and peaceful and I'm thrilled to have a little boy! 
LOTS of cool details surrounding his last days in my belly and his birth was a dream come true!

His birth story will come sometime soon...
...as will his name. 

But for now, here he is!

Wordless Wednesday: Maternity Photos

I can't believe I forgot to share these with you all!  Enjoy all these baby bump pictures and hopefully, the next photos I share with you will be of me holding my little one! 

Photos courtesy of Vanessa J.

Wordless Wednesday: Full Term Pregnant Henna Belly

My 37-week, full term, pregnant, henna belly!  My friend, Danae, did it.  Pretty good considering this was her first time working with henna!  I love it!

The Differences Between First and Second Pregnancies

I learned a few things with my first pregnancy.  Don't we all?  Being pregnant for the first time really provokes a lot of amazing emotions and feelings.  The excitement, wonder, gratefulness and mild anxiety fill nearly every waking moment.

You still have those same feelings with a second (and I assume subsequent) pregnancy, except it is now spread between the baby growing within and the little one dancing around your feet.  Or playing in the toilet water.

I've been making this list since the first trimester, editing as I went along.  Here are a few differences I've noticed between a first and second pregnancy.

1. You get bigger faster.  

Just like everyone says.  AND, it just may happen overnight!  I didn't wear very many maternity clothes with my first pregnancy and stayed in regular jeans the whole time.  I thought that getting back into shape would also keep me from expanding more than I did with my first pregnancy, but even getting my 6-pack abs back (don't judge me, they're hereditary) didn't do a thing for me.  I was actually in better physical shape starting pregnancy #2 versus pregnancy #1.  

This picture comparison details it perfectly.  They were both taken at about 30 weeks, but in the second picture, I look about the size I did when I was 35 weeks with my first pregnancy, even though I'm about 10 pounds lighter.  Go figure!  I did have a cheeseburger and fries for lunch and 6 pieces of pizza for dinner, so I know it's exaggerated a bit, but still.

30 weeks with Baby #1 and 30 weeks with Baby #2

2. People aren't as excited.  

Just because you maybe had crying, cheering, hugs and lots of congratulations the first time around doesn't mean you'll be met with the same reception the second time.  For us, when we shared our exciting news, some people were thrilled, some were happy and some acted like we told them we were getting a new pair of socks or a pet fish.  We had friends and strangers that we more excited than some family members.  Yes, it can be hurtful, but revel with those who are excited about you and your bump!  Try not to let it get to you - you are the parent and you know how amazing and precious this life is! 


3. You don't get bothered as much.  

The fact that people leave you alone in a way, don't ask you about every personal detail and sometimes don't ask a thing at all about your pregnancy can be an OK thing.  As a first time mom, everyone has an advice, story, thought, question, or raised eyebrow to give you.  

Also, I knew to expect the same questions every time we saw people the first time around.  I haven't noticed that as much with this pregnancy.  They either figure I've got it down or maybe they think I'm too far gone!   

4. You don't buy lots of crap.  

You know now that you need very few things for a baby.  Boobs, a bed, diapers and some clothes and most of the time, you have a content baby.  I knew that I didn't need much with my first pregnancy, and didn't buy the usual crib, bedding set with 2 matching lamps, 3 types of bouncers/rockers, and every toy marketed to the 0-3 month age, but I still did cave with a few things.  You learn that babies don't really care about toys at that age, the lamp will break, your second baby is a different gender rendering the crib bedding useless, and your kid hated all 3 bouncers.

5. You still need things.

Even though you don't get sucked into all the baby paraphernalia, you still realize that this time, you're getting this, this and that.  I naively assumed that because we got all we needed with baby #1, we wouldn't need much for baby #2.  Wrong.  Things wear out, break, get lost or get recalled.  And it's not just clothes.  You realize that instead of this, that would be more beneficial.  

If you're like me, you're going to splurge on something you didn't get the first time around and just made work (small size cloth diapers) and get what you want instead (newborn cloth diapers).  And of course, there are the additional expenses that you never had before like, a place to sleep for two children and a double stroller (yes, I want one because I need exercise to keep sane).

6. You don't have time to dote.   

Maybe it's because I was sick all the time with my daughter, but I remember reading baby name books and recording videos of her kicking in my tummy and singing to her.  I've been lucky to take weekly pictures of my pregnancy progression this pregnancy and haven't had time to read more than a book or two relating to pregnancy.  Sometimes I feel guilty that every time I talk to this baby, India interrupts or grabs my belly or has to come sit by me and talk to or kiss the baby, but that's just reality now. 

7. It goes faster!  

Can I get an AMEN?!  I really, really, really try not to complain while pregnant (in spite of some unhappy ailments) because I do want to be grateful for every day that I have the privilege of growing this little one in the best environment possible.  But, if I'm being honest, the majority of the last trimester could also be called I-can't-wait-to-get-this-baby-out-NOW trimester!  Because we don't find out the gender of our babies, the anticipation of baby's birth day is looked forward to!  

What differences did you notice between your first and second (or subsequent) pregnancies?  

Choosing Who Will Be at the Birth of My Child

I've said it before and I'm saying it again now: in spite of having a blog where I deal out the intricacies of my life so thousands of strangers all around the world can read them, I really am a private person. :) I'm pretty calculated and think through things (or talk).  Nearly every decision of mediocre importance takes contemplation.  

The choice of who to have present at the birth of my second child is big decision for me, because I am fairly guarded. 

For some people, it's easy to invite all grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends to take part in different parts of the birth.  That's NOT me!  In fact, I think most women who labor naturally want a quiet, dark space, with only their most trusted within reach.  

If it's up to me, I don't want to see anyone for about 24 hours after the birth and I want to just rest with my baby!  I didn't have that with India (Daddy was a little too excited and couldn't wait to show off his baby girl), and I didn't even take a nap until India was about 10 days old!  That's not happening again, even the husband agrees as he saw what it did to me. 

With India, my first, I knew I wanted a doula.  I interviewed a couple of doulas and settled immediately with a great gal, who was just starting up her doula business.  I had peace as soon as we started talking that this was the person, besides my husband and midwife, who was going to be present at the birth of our child.  I decided fairly early in pregnancy to go with her.  India's birth went great and I was thankful for everything she did for us!

I discovered that during India's labor and birth, I relied heavily on my husband.  Leaning on him, looking to him, and holding his hand while I listened to his comforting voice.  I could get away without anyone else there if he was by my side constantly. 

But if he needed a break, or had to do something, I was all over my doula.  I've learned I need secondary support there, just for additional reassurance, support and strength.

So who do I pick?

A doula?  We can't really afford one right now but I did have a great experience with my doula.  I know they are completely underpaid and their work is invaluable.

A friend or family member?  Maybe.  Can they be confidential and are they willing to support my birth choices?  Will our relationship remain intact if I tell them 'no' or I change my mind and want them to skip out on something?

Just a photographer?  Then rely on my midwife or a nurse if my husband has to step out for a bit?

No one?  That could work.  It is a beautiful, intimate moment, so just my husband's presence sounds good.  But then he doesn't get much of a break and has to be husband, dad, and photographer.

In spite of many unknowns, there are a few things I do know!

Whoever will be present at this birth must:

~Show confidentiality.  Remember, I'm a private person and naturally untrusting...  If I even smell the slightest hint that this person would share with others any details of my life or events that happen during this labor and birth without my consent, they're X'ed off my list immediately.  With my doula with India, we didn't know each other but I could tell she wasn't going to gossip or share with anyone.  To me, that was her most valuable asset.  Knowing someone is trustworthy means the world to me.

~Be natural-minded.  Yes, birth can be a great teaching opportunity, but I'm not up to being the guinea pig in this situation.  I thought about letting some people in that don't have kids yet (my first doula didn't), as long as they are helpful with my choices.  I need and want someone there who will support my decision to labor naturally, without interventions, for as long as it takes.  For those of you who have been there, you know the doubts that can enter your mind, so having someone who has the same goals and supports your intentions is critical.

~They need to be able to use a camera.  Sounds funny, but they do!  I don't need a photographer or someone with a fancy camera, they just need to be able to point and shoot when baby is born.  

Here I am, entering my third trimester and I haven't picked anyone to be a part of this momentous experience.  It is a big deal to me.  This child will only be physically born one time - there are no do-overs and although I don't expect perfection, I do want to look back with fondness (as I do with India's birth) on one of the greatest days of my life.

Our little family less than 10 minutes after India was born!

How did you decide who was present at the birth of your children?  What supportive qualities were important to you as you made that choice?

My Stomach, The Liar

I was pretty sick my entire pregnancy with India, so now that I'm at the halfway point with this pregnancy and only getting sick at night, I'm thankful.

But today, I'm going to talk about something I don't talk about with hardly anyone because I don't want to be seen as a whining, hormonal, prego: my stomach is a liar. 

Let me explain. 

Some people experience morning sickness, or what should be termed Anytime of Day Sickness, or perhaps, All Day Sickness, and lose their appetite.  Some have an appetite, but can't decide what to eat.  Some can't eat very much without losing their lunch.  My stomach does something different: it lies! 

Not joking, my nausea manifests as extreme hunger with nausea.  Yes, when I'm preggo sick, my stomach tells me I'm hungry and I need to eat.  So, like I normally do when my body asks for something (like chocolate), I eat.  And I eat well.  A full meal.  My stomach is mostly happy and I'm ready to relax.  But no, what's this?!?  Soon after I eat, my stomach starts growling and grumbling and asking for food??  No big deal, right?  I'm probably just hungry. 

Lies. 

My stomach is actually plump full, but my body is telling my mind something very different.  Maybe it's just used to eating two suppers (yes, when I'm not pregnant, I eat more than my husband).  Either way, it lies as much as Paula Abdul did as an American Idol judge. 

Pregnant, sick, nauseated and "starving" in my usual position on the couch.  2010.

Have you ever tried to deny yourself something your body was asking for every minute, for hours, for days, for weeks, for months?  Like sleep or food?  Yep, not fun.  Sometimes I give in, sometimes I just go to sleep because the desire is so strong, and sometimes I barrel through it, getting sicker by the minute, all while crying to my husband and writhing on the couch about how "I'm so freaking hungry". 

He knows all about my lying stomach, but encourages me to do whatever I want.

Is there such a thing as pregnancy Prader-Willi syndrome?  Because I think I have it.

What happens if I give in and eat?  I gain weight.  Massively.  Because, of course, my body doesn't need the food at that point.  I gained 17 pounds in the first 10 weeks of my pregnancy with India, because of this "lying stomach syndrome".  I finally figured out around week 10 or 11 of my pregnancy that my stomach was lying and I needed to fight it.  You can maybe imagine my disgust when I discovered that.

It was and still is quite a difficult feat to ignore my screaming, nauseous body.

Maybe you think I should just give in and listen to my body.  That's nice advice, but according to the above of gaining 17 pounds every 8 weeks, well, I would easily gain over 85 pounds and that's not taking into account all the water weight I gained at the end of my pregnancy with India.  I could easily go over 100 pounds if I "listened" to my body.  And remember, I'm not really hungry or needing the food an hour after my last meal.  And it doesn't work to eat something healthy, like a piece of fruit...that just makes me sicker.

Maybe because of my lying stomach condition I already gain a lot.  Thankfully, I lose it all right away too, but it is slightly stressful and frustrating in the mean time because I feel completely powerless to gain and eat in a healthy manner.

In the end, no, I can't eat like I normally do and I can't listen to my body to know when I'm full.  I know that.  But I do have to make some sort of amends with this pathological liar called my stomach.

And for the most part, I think I'm doing an alright job.

Has anyone else been blessed with a lying stomach?  Or had to eat insane amounts of food in order to avoid vomiting?

Wordless Wednesday: 1st Maternity Shirt (photo comparison)

1st maternity shirt worn for BOTH of my pregnancies!  Coincidentally, I happened to wear it working out at the YMCA this morning AND remembered to grab a photo of it.  Baby #1 on the left, 22 weeks, March 2010 and about two years later, Baby #2 on the right, 20 weeks, March 2012!  With Baby #2, I'm about 10 pounds lighter, but you really can't tell!

Wordless Wednesday: Kisses for Baby!

Getting Pregnant While Breastfeeding

Many people don't think you can get pregnant while breastfeeding, let alone breastfeed a baby while pregnant with another.  I'm currently doing the latter (with no plans to stop) and did the former as well.

Some people know that you can get pregnant while breastfeeding, from um, say, personal, perhaps accidental, experience. 

While it's true that breastfeeding can provide you with natural birth control, you still can get pregnant.  I didn't want India to sleep through the night, and promoted lactational amennorhea, for at least the first year of her life.  If you nurse consistently, most likely your period won't return until you introduce solids and cut back on nursing.  Or if your baby sleeps through the night.  *Most likely.*  Don't send me hate mail if you are one of the "lucky" ones who gets their period back at three months postpartum.  I'm sorry, I really am!

My journey:

My period returned in May, at about 10 months postpartum, after India went through a phase of sleeping through the night and I wasn't waking her to nurse.  I wasn't happy about it because I have friends who go 15, 18, 23 months or even longer without a period and I was not feeling ready for another baby at that point!  

Since we use the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), I sort of half-way began to look out for any signs of fertility to prevent pregnancy.  I say half-way, because I know my body pretty well and it doesn't take more than 30 seconds of daily observation for me to know if my body is ovulating or not.  To my amazement and gratefulness, there were no signs of fertility.  This continued through the summer.  

In September, when my daughter was coming up on 14 months old, I got a case of baby fever and I started to think about having another little munchkin.  But my body was still regulating and I wasn't ovulating yet.  I wasn't ready to wean my daughter in order to jump start my fertility.  I knew I just had to be patient, but I was starting to feel ready, which was a big shock because pregnancy wasn't kind to me.  I'm not one of those ladies who just loves being pregnant.  Nope.
 

Remember how I said we use Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) to track fertility signs and how much I love it?  Well, this is just one more little pat on FAM's back.   In October, I had all signs and symptoms that I normally do for ovulation, except I didn't seem to have a lot of cervical fluid.  If we didn't use FAM, I could have gone on for months trying to have a baby and perhaps been diagnosed with secondary infertility, when I just needed more cervical fluid - all because breastfeeding left me with very little.  I know women quite often have less cervical fluid while breastfeeding.  It's very common for breastfeeding mothers to feel, um, dry.  Well, in order to get pregnant, cervical fluid is a vital part of the process.  A quick Google search of "how to naturally increase cervical fluid" brought me to a common oil, Evening Primrose Oil, that is rich in essential fatty acids.  I had heard of it, but didn't know much about it, or that it was actually a cheap and readily available product.  Many woman use it near the end of their pregnancy and during menopause and many others use it to help with arthritis and eczema.  But it's also frequently used for increasing the amount and quality of cervical fluid.  Here's how it works.

I decided that I would take it the next cycle because I only wanted to try for a baby that month because that would give me a due date of late July or early August and I was OK with that.  As long as I wasn't pregnant the whole summer!  Getting pregnant in December or January wasn't an option because I didn't want a baby born in September or October because that would mean I would be VERY pregnant the WHOLE summer. 

So, I take the Evening Primrose Oil and well, whaddya know, I'm preggo the next month, November.  Maybe it was the Evening Primrose Oil (EPO), maybe my body just regulated itself, but from everything I could tell the EPO helped greatly!

I share all this because I have several friends who are still breastfeeding and have had some difficulty getting pregnant, so I figure there are many others who are in the same boat!  Maybe it's something as simple as increasing your cervical fluid.  :)

Image source

Wordless Wednesday: 16 Weeks Pregnant!

16 peeks pregnant - this is about what I looked like at 20 weeks pregnant with India, minus the bubble around my belly button (it's a hernia).

Remember that?

Remember when I said I had a bit of baby fever back in September?

Or do you remember when I posted that tutorial for that cute Christmas stocking that I made for India?

Oh, or the post about how well Natural Family Planning works?

Or how I had to spend so much time in bed at the Cockroach Motel?

Or how about when my husband took me away for a surprise birthday getaway in early November and got me some pretty cool stuff for my 30th birthday? 

Well, not only was I pampered with some pretty great stuff for my 30th birthday, I also got the absolute BEST birthday gift ever: 

Baby #2! 

                        Coming this summer, this world will be graced with a new little life!  

I'm not as sick as I was with India so I'm hoping that also means I won't be sick the entire 9 months this time as well!  :)  I've been lacking in blog posts, as it's easier for me to be horizontal from early afternoon on, and I'm amazed at how hard it is to type laying down!  

Image source

Similar to my pregnancy with India, eating helps me to not be as sick, so if you've seen me in public, most likely, I'm eating or drinking something or even chewing gum to even be able to chit chat with you.  This baby even lets me drink a little bit of water and eat some fruits and vegetables (I couldn't eat or drink those things with India, or else I'd get sick).

So, there you go!  Daddy and Mama are SO excited and India's just happy that someone else besides her is talking about a baby!  Above all, we are so grateful and covet any prayers of health and safety for our growing little family!

PS:  Are you wondering what that stocking has to do with having another baby?  Well, I started making a second one, with different colors, which hopefully I'll be finished with by next Christmas!

Wordless Wednesday: 2 years ago this week

2 years ago this week, I told my husband I had a bump on my tummy (or maybe in) and I needed him to check it out for me!

I've Got Baby Fever!!

Look out, sweet husband, I've got a baaaaaddddddddddd fever of the baby sort.  I think it's best you not come home for a while because this could be contagious. ;-)

I was browsing pictures of India as a baby, looking at how tiny and squishy and soft and relatively still and semi-quiet and delicious smelling she was when my uterus starting crying like a hungry baby sparrow, "Give me another baby!  I'm emmmmppppty"!

While I told my womb to hush, I remembered that India is still many of those things, and I don't want to miss a moment with her right now, wishing for something more.  But at the very same time, I'm not ashamed to admit I've had moments of Baby Fever ever since India turned one. 

Before that, I was right in line with my husband, who wanted to wait until India was at least two before we even considered another child.

I find myself telling Dallas, "When we have our next baby..." or at a garage sale saying "I'm buying this for the next baby".  I'm sure he's getting sick of it.

I miss planning the logistics of a new child, reading birth books, rubbing and praying over my belly, cleaning every single thing the baby will touch like a germophobe, washing little baby clothes and diapers and being woke up in my sleep by little fluttery kicks.

I love and miss the little coos and the breastmilk drool and the little burps and the rooting and itty bitty clothes and the naps and the first smiles and, and, and, everything about having a little, new, fresh baby. 

For a moment, I even missed being pregnant.  That is saying a lot because pregnancy was not kind to me.  

I miss this.  I could just eat her right up!

But then I have moments where I'm a bit overwhelmed with the constant whining and yelling at me while she traipses after me and/or hangs on my leg at home.  And the embarrassing meltdowns in stores all because she can't hold the baby in the cart we just passed.

And I think, "Could I really handle another child?  What would I do with a baby while India screams bloody murder in Target because I won't let her out of the cart to terrorize another child in a cart?  And what if the new baby is crying too?  Will India finally learn not to be so dominating towards other children or would this baby suffer Shaken Baby Syndrome from India's aggressive behavior?  Can I really keep my calm while India tantrums because I told her 'no' for the 1000th time today and won't let her play trampoline or parachute with my laptop and the new baby screams to eat?  Could India handle sharing me with another sibling?  More like, could India handle sharing my boobs with another sibling?  Can I handle parenting India (who is very spirited) and not give the new baby Bouncy Seat Syndrome?  What if this baby is full of energy and opinions like India?  Can I keep my sanity?"

 But then, once the storm passes with a big hug and a million kisses and cuddles from my sweet girl or she does something adorable, like kiss the flowers and then feed them to her doll and while saying 'eat', I revert back to "You know, with the next baby, I want to try this...." and "What do you think of this name" and "I think India would be nice to a baby".

I know many of you have more than one child and it's a breeze for you.  Just humor me for a moment and think back to when you only had one kid.  Did you think about the same things?

No matter what, I know that God is good.  The deepest part of my being knows that.  He will not give me anything that I can't handle and when I'm tempted to respond with anger and rage, I know He provides a way for me to avert from sin.  I know He has the best plan for my life, my husband's life, and any of our offspring's life.  In Arabic, it's said Inshallah or if God wills it - meaning the ultimate of hope and trust for a possibly difficult endeavor.

Is it always this way? Once you've experienced pregnancy, will you always miss little, itty, bitty babies?   How far apart in age are your children and do you like their age difference?