Naming a Little Person

Giving a name to a pet can take some thought.  Naming a person, can take months of deliberation for some. In some instances, it's fairly simple and doesn't take a lot of consideration.  

For me, it takes months!  I'm the type of person who likes to try to think of everything.  Nicknames, popularity, pronunciation, etc, etc.  Because the meaning and significance of a name means so much to us, I think and perhaps over-analyzed every.single.name that came our way.  Here is a little explanation as to why I think about names so much.

We don't find out the gender of our babies, so we made a list of boy names and a list of girl names.  Girl names are easier for us to agree on.  It's not that we disagree on boy names, it's just that we have a hard time finding ones that meet our criteria.  We can't know anyone else with the name.  Therefore, it has to be unique.  But not too unique...especially for a boy. 

Image courtesy of my sister/photographer/friend, Vanessa, Jewels & Treasures

When our son was born, we tossed around the three or four names we liked and decided we'd just sleep on it.  As the next day arrived, I felt the pressure mounting to name him.  We talked about it and decided that it I needed to let it go and not be bothered by the stress.  We decided to call him by the name that had become our favorite for the next day or so to see if it fit him.  And guess what?  It did! 

I'm so glad we took the last two days to think, pray, observe and let our little man's name sink in!

Introducing....

                                  Mylo Kenneth

Mylo:

~means peaceful, gracious, merciful soldier
~MY LOve
~Mylo was conceived around the time we had a special time away and heard a great band perform, Milo Greene.  Listen to a couple of their top hits, Autumn Tree or 1957  (which our daughter India likes to sing along to).  They have become a favorite and no doubt, inspired our name choice.
~While we both agreed wholeheartedly on the names of our kids, I came up with our daughter's name, India Josephine, and my husband came up with our son's name, Mylo Kenneth.  We didn't plan it that way, or set out to do it like that, it just happened!

Kenneth: 

~means born of fire and handsome

~Dallas' Dad and paternal Grandfather both shared the name of Kenneth
~Dallas' Dad has been an example of a godly, patient and loving man.  Obviously, he has had profound influence on Dallas.  If you know my father-in-law, you know how personable and respected he is: everyone loves him!


     Our prayer is that Mylo Kenneth, our peaceful, gracious boy, would know he is loved and celebrated.  We pray that music and praise will always be a part of his life!  We can only hope he follows in the footsteps of his grandfather, his life seasoned with patience, love for God and a deep sense of concern for others!

Grandpa Ken and Mylo

PS: Yes, we like Coldplay, but Mylo's not named after Mylo Xyloto! ;)

Choosing Who Will Be at the Birth of My Child

I've said it before and I'm saying it again now: in spite of having a blog where I deal out the intricacies of my life so thousands of strangers all around the world can read them, I really am a private person. :) I'm pretty calculated and think through things (or talk).  Nearly every decision of mediocre importance takes contemplation.  

The choice of who to have present at the birth of my second child is big decision for me, because I am fairly guarded. 

For some people, it's easy to invite all grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends to take part in different parts of the birth.  That's NOT me!  In fact, I think most women who labor naturally want a quiet, dark space, with only their most trusted within reach.  

If it's up to me, I don't want to see anyone for about 24 hours after the birth and I want to just rest with my baby!  I didn't have that with India (Daddy was a little too excited and couldn't wait to show off his baby girl), and I didn't even take a nap until India was about 10 days old!  That's not happening again, even the husband agrees as he saw what it did to me. 

With India, my first, I knew I wanted a doula.  I interviewed a couple of doulas and settled immediately with a great gal, who was just starting up her doula business.  I had peace as soon as we started talking that this was the person, besides my husband and midwife, who was going to be present at the birth of our child.  I decided fairly early in pregnancy to go with her.  India's birth went great and I was thankful for everything she did for us!

I discovered that during India's labor and birth, I relied heavily on my husband.  Leaning on him, looking to him, and holding his hand while I listened to his comforting voice.  I could get away without anyone else there if he was by my side constantly. 

But if he needed a break, or had to do something, I was all over my doula.  I've learned I need secondary support there, just for additional reassurance, support and strength.

So who do I pick?

A doula?  We can't really afford one right now but I did have a great experience with my doula.  I know they are completely underpaid and their work is invaluable.

A friend or family member?  Maybe.  Can they be confidential and are they willing to support my birth choices?  Will our relationship remain intact if I tell them 'no' or I change my mind and want them to skip out on something?

Just a photographer?  Then rely on my midwife or a nurse if my husband has to step out for a bit?

No one?  That could work.  It is a beautiful, intimate moment, so just my husband's presence sounds good.  But then he doesn't get much of a break and has to be husband, dad, and photographer.

In spite of many unknowns, there are a few things I do know!

Whoever will be present at this birth must:

~Show confidentiality.  Remember, I'm a private person and naturally untrusting...  If I even smell the slightest hint that this person would share with others any details of my life or events that happen during this labor and birth without my consent, they're X'ed off my list immediately.  With my doula with India, we didn't know each other but I could tell she wasn't going to gossip or share with anyone.  To me, that was her most valuable asset.  Knowing someone is trustworthy means the world to me.

~Be natural-minded.  Yes, birth can be a great teaching opportunity, but I'm not up to being the guinea pig in this situation.  I thought about letting some people in that don't have kids yet (my first doula didn't), as long as they are helpful with my choices.  I need and want someone there who will support my decision to labor naturally, without interventions, for as long as it takes.  For those of you who have been there, you know the doubts that can enter your mind, so having someone who has the same goals and supports your intentions is critical.

~They need to be able to use a camera.  Sounds funny, but they do!  I don't need a photographer or someone with a fancy camera, they just need to be able to point and shoot when baby is born.  

Here I am, entering my third trimester and I haven't picked anyone to be a part of this momentous experience.  It is a big deal to me.  This child will only be physically born one time - there are no do-overs and although I don't expect perfection, I do want to look back with fondness (as I do with India's birth) on one of the greatest days of my life.

Our little family less than 10 minutes after India was born!

How did you decide who was present at the birth of your children?  What supportive qualities were important to you as you made that choice?

My Stomach, The Liar

I was pretty sick my entire pregnancy with India, so now that I'm at the halfway point with this pregnancy and only getting sick at night, I'm thankful.

But today, I'm going to talk about something I don't talk about with hardly anyone because I don't want to be seen as a whining, hormonal, prego: my stomach is a liar. 

Let me explain. 

Some people experience morning sickness, or what should be termed Anytime of Day Sickness, or perhaps, All Day Sickness, and lose their appetite.  Some have an appetite, but can't decide what to eat.  Some can't eat very much without losing their lunch.  My stomach does something different: it lies! 

Not joking, my nausea manifests as extreme hunger with nausea.  Yes, when I'm preggo sick, my stomach tells me I'm hungry and I need to eat.  So, like I normally do when my body asks for something (like chocolate), I eat.  And I eat well.  A full meal.  My stomach is mostly happy and I'm ready to relax.  But no, what's this?!?  Soon after I eat, my stomach starts growling and grumbling and asking for food??  No big deal, right?  I'm probably just hungry. 

Lies. 

My stomach is actually plump full, but my body is telling my mind something very different.  Maybe it's just used to eating two suppers (yes, when I'm not pregnant, I eat more than my husband).  Either way, it lies as much as Paula Abdul did as an American Idol judge. 

Pregnant, sick, nauseated and "starving" in my usual position on the couch.  2010.

Have you ever tried to deny yourself something your body was asking for every minute, for hours, for days, for weeks, for months?  Like sleep or food?  Yep, not fun.  Sometimes I give in, sometimes I just go to sleep because the desire is so strong, and sometimes I barrel through it, getting sicker by the minute, all while crying to my husband and writhing on the couch about how "I'm so freaking hungry". 

He knows all about my lying stomach, but encourages me to do whatever I want.

Is there such a thing as pregnancy Prader-Willi syndrome?  Because I think I have it.

What happens if I give in and eat?  I gain weight.  Massively.  Because, of course, my body doesn't need the food at that point.  I gained 17 pounds in the first 10 weeks of my pregnancy with India, because of this "lying stomach syndrome".  I finally figured out around week 10 or 11 of my pregnancy that my stomach was lying and I needed to fight it.  You can maybe imagine my disgust when I discovered that.

It was and still is quite a difficult feat to ignore my screaming, nauseous body.

Maybe you think I should just give in and listen to my body.  That's nice advice, but according to the above of gaining 17 pounds every 8 weeks, well, I would easily gain over 85 pounds and that's not taking into account all the water weight I gained at the end of my pregnancy with India.  I could easily go over 100 pounds if I "listened" to my body.  And remember, I'm not really hungry or needing the food an hour after my last meal.  And it doesn't work to eat something healthy, like a piece of fruit...that just makes me sicker.

Maybe because of my lying stomach condition I already gain a lot.  Thankfully, I lose it all right away too, but it is slightly stressful and frustrating in the mean time because I feel completely powerless to gain and eat in a healthy manner.

In the end, no, I can't eat like I normally do and I can't listen to my body to know when I'm full.  I know that.  But I do have to make some sort of amends with this pathological liar called my stomach.

And for the most part, I think I'm doing an alright job.

Has anyone else been blessed with a lying stomach?  Or had to eat insane amounts of food in order to avoid vomiting?

I Return Every Gift I Receive

 source: shrscs.net

I turned 30 years old this weekend.  Kind of weird, because I remember my parents turning 30!  I don't feel 30 and the kids in our youth group about lost it when they heard I was going to be 30.  They guessed I was 24 or 26.  I made Dallas pause youth group then I told them they were all my best friends for life.  :-)

Moving on.... 

Dallas has a birthday surprise planned for me this week.  He refuses to tell me much about it.  It's not because he has to surprise me, it's because I normally say a big 'heck no' whenever he mentions getting me a gift.  All that I know is we're going away (I cried when he told me because I'm not ready to leave India again, but I got over it real fast) and I'm super excited and super nervous.

Why?

I don't want him spending lots of money on me. 

It's frivolous, ridiculous, unnecessary and our money should go a million other places before it's spent on me.  Besides, I've done and been a part of a lot of really amazing things in my life so I don't need any more cool things.

But he insists that we are doing this. 

I'm notorious for returning every gift I receive.  It's not that I'm not grateful, but I'm super practical, cheap and get easily convicted.  For Mother's Day this year, Dallas (bless his sweet heart) bought me an iPad and I fought with him for days to return it.  I didn't need it and there's no way I could justify spending that much money on myself! 

I finally won out and he returned it. 

I felt kind of bad, like maybe he felt I was rejecting him, but I just can't justify it. 

That's just one of many stories.  Poor guy.  He should know because I'm the girl who has never bought a kitchen table, a bed or spent more than $50 on a used couch from Goodwill.  Nearly everything I have is second hand and I don't mind a bit.

I just have such a hard time justifying new things when what I have is fine or I can find a secondhand replacement.  No judgment, as I have friends whose husbands buy them fancy jewelry, iPads, kitchen appliances, vacations and more for gifts, but I.just.cannot.do.it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not Mother Teresa, I'm materialistic and covetous, and I still make purchases that seem pointless.  But I struggle with the lines of necessary, a blessing and frivolous....like these $35 boots that literally took me two years to buy and I still bought half of them with a gift card.  I struggled with that purchase.

I enter this week knowing that my husband is spending money on me.  I'm uneasy but yet so grateful that I have a husband who loves me and wants to do something extraordinary for me.  I guess this is a time for me to sit back, be blessed and enjoy.  After all, this is the first time in 10 years I've let him do anything like this and this is one gift, I can't return.

Do you and your spouse exchange gifts?  Does anyone else out there ever struggle with feeling like they have 'too much'?

Pulling the (paci) plug

I'm so tossed up on this issue.  I don't think there is anything that I'm so unsure of in my quest as a new mom.

The pacifier!  Dun, dun, dun!

It's an instant soother, keeps my 10 month old daughter quiet when we're in situations where being a baby is not OK, and helps her sleep.

India wouldn't take a pacifier for about he first 10 weeks of her life, and she has a high need to suck.  So I was her pacifier.  I don't have bad feelings about it, but I needed something else besides my boob to relax my very, very, very vocal baby in public situations. 

She is addicted to her paci.  Loves it.  She will crawl the world one hundred times over to get her chubby little hands on that piece of silicone.  We only let her use it for naps and bedtime, or like I said before, in instances when we need her to be quiet.  It has made life convenient for us and we've never had sleep problems, thanks in part to our frienenemy, the pacifier.

On the other hand, I think India's growth slowed once the paci came into play and it's not natural.

India has been sick and I brought her to the doctor on Friday to get checked out.  It was all good, but the Doc suggested that we wean her from the pacifier, as she is a highly oral baby (as India ate, chewed and sucked on everything that was within 12 inches of her) and to prevent the fluid in her ears from turning into a full blown ear infection.  I know she has a high need to suck.  Some babies chew on their pacifiers, or just play with them, but India is very passionate about her paci.

Of course, I had to come home and read studies and research if this was the next step we wanted to take in 'preventative medicine'. :)

My husband also had lots of ear infections as a child, and we deducted that India has a high propensity towards them as well.  Given that and the reality that babies who uses pacifiers are three times more likely to get ear infections, and the fact that once you have an ear infection your probability of getting another goes up, we decided to pull the paci plug on Friday.  I've never liked her having a pacifier, and as you know, I am a bit of naturalist, so we pulled the plug, cold turkey.

Goodbye, happy pacifier days!

We've been going for over 72 hours without it.  And India is nursing at least one more per day and one time more at night.  That's good.  But is it because she needs more to eat or is she using me as her pacifier?  The bad is she naps less and it takes a while to get her to fall asleep.  She now cries a lot more, but that could be because she is recovering from her illness.  After much writhing and crying, she finally falls asleep, so my hands have been tied for the last couple of days, and my husband has been gone all weekend.  I've been watching a lot of Teen Mom as my out, not going to lie. 

My sweet little girl, who always went to sleep and stayed asleep so nicely, is now that child.  I admit, a pacifier is mostly for a parent's comfort. 

I'm not convinced that we will keep the pacifier away from her.  I'm tossed up as to whether we will wean her from the pacifier, but on the other hand, she is eating more, which is a great thing.

What's a mom to do...stop totally while we're on a roll, give it back to her and let her have it until she's two or three (believe me, this child is not going to voluntarily surrender for several more years), or give it back once her cold is gone?

For now, I think I will put everything on hold, and try for the next week to keep my sanity and hers as we wean from the pacifier.

Did you give your children a paci?  Did you 'take away' the paci at a certain age?  Any pacifier weaning tips?  Does it get better???