I Return Every Gift I Receive
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| source: shrscs.net |
Moving on....
Dallas has a birthday surprise planned for me this week. He refuses to tell me much about it. It's not because he has to surprise me, it's because I normally say a big 'heck no' whenever he mentions getting me a gift. All that I know is we're going away (I cried when he told me because I'm not ready to leave India again, but I got over it real fast) and I'm super excited and super nervous.
Why?
I don't want him spending lots of money on me.
It's frivolous, ridiculous, unnecessary and our money should go a million other places before it's spent on me. Besides, I've done and been a part of a lot of really amazing things in my life so I don't need any more cool things.
But he insists that we are doing this.
I'm notorious for returning every gift I receive. It's not that I'm not grateful, but I'm super practical, cheap and get easily convicted. For Mother's Day this year, Dallas (bless his sweet heart) bought me an iPad and I fought with him for days to return it. I didn't need it and there's no way I could justify spending that much money on myself!
I finally won out and he returned it.
I felt kind of bad, like maybe he felt I was rejecting him, but I just can't justify it.
That's just one of many stories. Poor guy. He should know because I'm the girl who has never bought a kitchen table, a bed or spent more than $50 on a used couch from Goodwill. Nearly everything I have is second hand and I don't mind a bit.
I just have such a hard time justifying new things when what I have is fine or I can find a secondhand replacement. No judgment, as I have friends whose husbands buy them fancy jewelry, iPads, kitchen appliances, vacations and more for gifts, but I.just.cannot.do.it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not Mother Teresa, I'm materialistic and covetous, and I still make purchases that seem pointless. But I struggle with the lines of necessary, a blessing and frivolous....like these $35 boots that literally took me two years to buy and I still bought half of them with a gift card. I struggled with that purchase.
I enter this week knowing that my husband is spending money on me. I'm uneasy but yet so grateful that I have a husband who loves me and wants to do something extraordinary for me. I guess this is a time for me to sit back, be blessed and enjoy. After all, this is the first time in 10 years I've let him do anything like this and this is one gift, I can't return.
Do you and your spouse exchange gifts? Does anyone else out there ever struggle with feeling like they have 'too much'?
posted by Uniquely Normal Mom @ 9:46 AM
15 Comments
15 Comments:
cute boots! And I'm very similar! I am much more inclined to spend money on my children, or my husband even, but have a hard time justifying spending it on myself[
My husand I never exchange gifts. I feel exactly as you do-our money could be spent in so many other ways. Plus, I just can't justify spending money on things we really don't need. Once in a great while, we will agree to purchase something together, such as a new digital camera as ours decided to die on us. But it is something we decide on together and purchase together. (I am also super picky so even if my husband did buy me something, as he did once long ago when we were first dating, I would end up returning it anyway haha. I never did wear that gold butterfly necklace...sorry honey).
my hubby and I don't exchange gifts for several reasons usually we can't figure out what to buy the other, we don't like to spend the money or don't have the money to spend, we don't need the extra clutter from "unecessary" items. We've adopted a practice of making memories instead of giving gifts much like your husband taking you away We do the same thing we choose an activity or experience we'll remember instead of a material Item like a weekend at a nice hotel, ordering room service and time in the pool, OR a fancy unforgettable meal at a unique reastaurant. It works for us. :)
We exchange gifts. I love giving gifts and it's so much fun for me to go searching for a gift that my husband will like (it's super hard because if he needs something he'll get right away) and I try not to spend a lot of money on stuff but I think it's fun!! Also usually our gifts are something that we have been saving for that will make life a little bit easier or fun and we will use with our hobbies (stuff for my camera for me, stuff for hiking, camping, biking, etc for him).
Happy 30th birthday! Enjoy your day and don't feel like you have to return stuff! Your husband loves you and wants to show you how much he appreciates it. Say thank you and enjoy your gift. You are not a horrible person for having accepted a gift that you might not think is necessary.
We all have received a gift that we didn't deserve and can't do anything to earn it! Enjoy your birthday!!
I definitely feel awkward when anyone gives me a gift, at the very least. Typically, I will find someone who does need whatever I received and give it to them.
My husband is the type to just go out and get what he needs (or if it's plausible, wants), so I don't have an easy time getting him gifts. It's fun to see his face when I'm able to find something he truly wants. I'll completely admit, I don't have a hard time receiving gifts from him. I do have an extremely hard time justifying purchases for myself.
My dad was always that type (and still is), so I understand how you think you've struck gold when you find the perfect gift!
That's awesome!
Thanks, Caristy! I am enjoying this time because as far as it depends on me, it won't happen very often, lol!
And amen to the gift we didn't deserve!
I love the hotel room service idea! I've always wanted to do that in America!
Yep, we do buy things together...like our convection oven, our video camera, etc. And why oh why didn't you like your gold butterfly necklace? ;)
OK, so I'm NOT the only one! I just bought my daughter a pair of $6 boots, but could not buy myself an item of clothing I liked....I don't feel bad about it, it's just how it is!
Happy Birthday! I love to give gifts....I struggle with receiving them. Like you I really don't feel I "need" anything and that the money could be used somewhere else. But.....when I've been gifted with something, I needed to learn to accept it graciously.....especially those gifts that came from a sacrifice (sudden guilt thinking of that 10 year anniversary band sitting in the back of my undie drawer......guess I should dig it out and wear it once in a while). I have also determined gifts don't have to be kept "forever".....after 26 years of motherhood.....with 4 kids....it may be time for those Boyd's Bears to find new homes. :)
My family knows that "acts of service" is my love language, and who wouldn't like having someone else take care of a few of your chores on your birthday or mother's day. :) And as far as a gift....let it be something Vintage....preferably from the Goodwill!!! :) Your are his Queen....so let him bless you with the royal treatment on this milestone birthday!
I just figured out how to log in with my own "identity" :)
I lurked over from Gretchen's blog. :)
Have a great day!
We do "exchange" gifts. Most of the time, we use occasions to get things that we've been thinking of getting for a long time anyway. We don't get them just to get them. I have a very hard time spending money on myself, but I'm learning it's important that I do. I'm one to "make it work" and I'm realizing that when my shoes are falling apart, it's just fine to get new ones, even though it takes me a long time to do so. Gifts are almost always discussed. I love being surprised, though. We're at a place right now where we don't want any money to go to waste for something that is sweet but we don't need.
I think we've been doing gifts of time more and more.
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