My Stomach, The Liar

I was pretty sick my entire pregnancy with India, so now that I'm at the halfway point with this pregnancy and only getting sick at night, I'm thankful.

But today, I'm going to talk about something I don't talk about with hardly anyone because I don't want to be seen as a whining, hormonal, prego: my stomach is a liar. 

Let me explain. 

Some people experience morning sickness, or what should be termed Anytime of Day Sickness, or perhaps, All Day Sickness, and lose their appetite.  Some have an appetite, but can't decide what to eat.  Some can't eat very much without losing their lunch.  My stomach does something different: it lies! 

Not joking, my nausea manifests as extreme hunger with nausea.  Yes, when I'm preggo sick, my stomach tells me I'm hungry and I need to eat.  So, like I normally do when my body asks for something (like chocolate), I eat.  And I eat well.  A full meal.  My stomach is mostly happy and I'm ready to relax.  But no, what's this?!?  Soon after I eat, my stomach starts growling and grumbling and asking for food??  No big deal, right?  I'm probably just hungry. 

Lies. 

My stomach is actually plump full, but my body is telling my mind something very different.  Maybe it's just used to eating two suppers (yes, when I'm not pregnant, I eat more than my husband).  Either way, it lies as much as Paula Abdul did as an American Idol judge. 

Pregnant, sick, nauseated and "starving" in my usual position on the couch.  2010.

Have you ever tried to deny yourself something your body was asking for every minute, for hours, for days, for weeks, for months?  Like sleep or food?  Yep, not fun.  Sometimes I give in, sometimes I just go to sleep because the desire is so strong, and sometimes I barrel through it, getting sicker by the minute, all while crying to my husband and writhing on the couch about how "I'm so freaking hungry". 

He knows all about my lying stomach, but encourages me to do whatever I want.

Is there such a thing as pregnancy Prader-Willi syndrome?  Because I think I have it.

What happens if I give in and eat?  I gain weight.  Massively.  Because, of course, my body doesn't need the food at that point.  I gained 17 pounds in the first 10 weeks of my pregnancy with India, because of this "lying stomach syndrome".  I finally figured out around week 10 or 11 of my pregnancy that my stomach was lying and I needed to fight it.  You can maybe imagine my disgust when I discovered that.

It was and still is quite a difficult feat to ignore my screaming, nauseous body.

Maybe you think I should just give in and listen to my body.  That's nice advice, but according to the above of gaining 17 pounds every 8 weeks, well, I would easily gain over 85 pounds and that's not taking into account all the water weight I gained at the end of my pregnancy with India.  I could easily go over 100 pounds if I "listened" to my body.  And remember, I'm not really hungry or needing the food an hour after my last meal.  And it doesn't work to eat something healthy, like a piece of fruit...that just makes me sicker.

Maybe because of my lying stomach condition I already gain a lot.  Thankfully, I lose it all right away too, but it is slightly stressful and frustrating in the mean time because I feel completely powerless to gain and eat in a healthy manner.

In the end, no, I can't eat like I normally do and I can't listen to my body to know when I'm full.  I know that.  But I do have to make some sort of amends with this pathological liar called my stomach.

And for the most part, I think I'm doing an alright job.

Has anyone else been blessed with a lying stomach?  Or had to eat insane amounts of food in order to avoid vomiting?

Rerun: Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

*I'm reposting this today because I've been busy getting ready for my daughter's first birthday party and haven't had much time to write.  At this point I was so OVER being pregnant.*


I wrote this two days before I had India after some very emotional days, filled with comments from people that clearly frustrated me. I decided to post this because I know there are many pregnant women who want this information distributed to the masses like communist propaganda. I thought about trying to tame and clean this up, but decided against that, and will let you all have it nice and raw!

For those of you who are lacking some tact; listen up. For those of you who can empathize; nod your head.

Some pregnant woman may be more gracious than me, at least to your face, but I can pretty much guarantee you will be dubbed a complete a-hole by talking about any of these things. :)


1. WEIGHT -
We all know that it's never OK to make a comment about a woman's weight, right? The only time it's kosher is if a woman has recently lost weight, and then it's OK to say something along the lines of "You look great" and end the sentence before you insert foot in mouth babbling about how big she was before. Most men shouldn't ever trample on this sacred ground. Men and women alike, generally have enough sense about them not to talk about weight gain.

Except for when you're pregnant.

For some reason, being pregnant, some people feel as if they have a license to immediately make a comment about your weight. "You're really filling out", "Are you sure it's not twins?!?!", "Eating for two", "You look like you're ready to pop!", "You are so huge/big/ginormous (insert any adjective for large)" are all things you should NEVER SAY. EVER. NEVER! In fact, don't mention weight or size at all. We already feel like blimps, fumbling around, unable to touch our toes, or sit properly in a restaurant booth, we don't need any reminders.

And don't ask me how much weight I've gained. If you volunteer your weight gain statistics to me, it doesn't mean I'm obligated to volunteer mine to you.


2. PERSONAL INFORMATION- 
Believe it or not, I'm a very private person, especially in regards to the intimate details of my body. The more I feel pushed into giving information, the more I retreat and submit vague information, or retort with a hormone-induced snarky response. So, it should be no surprise to you, when you come to me at 36 weeks pregnant and ask me if my cervix is dilated if I punch you in the face. :) No, I won't punch you, but I may ask you about your cervix, if that's OK. And if you don't have a cervix, you definitely should not be asking that question!

Don't ask me about stretch marks, nipple secretions, mucus plug, and the like. Again, I will gladly ask you the question right back, and I doubt you want to talk about any of those things either. True? 

And stop telling me to have sex to induce labor, geesh.

3. LABOR STORIES - 

"I was ripped from end to end"

 "You're planning on going natural?  Haha, good luck with that"

Save the horrow stories, please.  Yes, I've been told, watched videos, and read lots of books on what is about to happen to me. I don't need anymore negative reinforcements, I just want to be encouraged. It's one thing to share the reality of your birth story with me, and I'll be happy to hear it. It's another thing to go around fearmongering and leave me begging for a c-section.

4. YOU'RE STILL PREGNANT?!? - 
No. That's a basketball I shoved up my shirt because I want YOUR attention. Seriously? If you see me, and I still look like I've got a baby in there, and I'm not holding a baby in arms, it's safe to assume that, yes, I'm still pregnant.

Do you really think I have that much control over the situation? Do you think your comment will maybe you will magically induce labor?   Probably not.

Most likely, I feel hot, fat, hormonal, miserable and achy and I'm completely uncomfortable with even more attention being drawn to me. Recently, someone made this comment to me, and before I could think about my response, I replied with "And you still have a big mouth?". If you are OK with getting a response like this, go ahead and ask this question.

What we want to hear instead:

• You're doing a great job
• I can't wait to see you with your beautiful baby.  I can tell that you are going to be a great mom
• Labor?  You CAN do it!
• You look beautiful
• You're glowing

Hot, swollen, 38 weeks pregnant, ready to meet my baby

Did you get any weird comments when you were pregnant? 

Get in Shape: Update

This morning I met some girlfriends at our local YMCA to do some walking and let's be honest, a lot of talking too. In light of that, I thought today would be a very appropriate day to update you about this post.


Well over three months ago, I posted about how much more exercising I was going to do and my intentions to lose 10 pounds.

There's good news and bad news.

Bad news: I've failed at getting in shape.

I haven't worked out at all. I maybe did the 30 Day Shred one more time after that post. I walk even less because I live in Minnesota and it's a wintery tundra right now. No one walks outside in the winter. No one even goes outside. Unless you are walking from a building to your car.

If I were to pie graph my day, you'd see a large portion of that graph dedicated to me sitting on my couch - writing this blog, Facebooking (can that be a verb?), feeding India, reading the news....

Well, here, I just conveniently made a graph - for the visual learners.

OK. So maybe that's exaggerating a bit. But it feels like I spend that much time on my couch.

And the 1% devoted to exercising? Well, I hope you don't mind that I added up how many times I walk up and down the stairs (2-4 times) and the minutes I spend bouncing India on my hip (10 minutes) and the times I pick her up (countless) and totaled that as my only exercise. That all equaled 1% of my daily time.

No squats. No push-ups. No lunges. I can't remember the last time I did a sit-up.


I did have good intentions. But I have a busy husband so he can't watch the baby. But I just want to relax while India naps. But I hate wearing a sports bra while nursing. But we only have one car so I can't get to the Y. Butt, butt, butt.


I know, I know, I promised good news.


The good news: the 10 pounds are long gone (thanks to my father's metabolism and breastfeeding).


I know most people would be elated to lose 10 pounds, but I'm still mushy. And the fact that I didn't lose it the way I intended (working out), is still a little defeating.

I still eat pizza with hot buffalo sauce on it. I make (and eat) chocolate chip cookies. I eat Nutella and peanut butter by the jar.


AND I sit on my couch.


Yes, half of my goal was accomplished - the weight loss. The other half wasn't - I wanted to firm up. I want to be able to run a few miles any given day. The numbers on the scale don't mean much; I want to feel good. I think we all know the natural high after a great workout.

I'm not about to make this a New Years Resolution or anything, but I do need to be more active. I'm thankful I have some girlfriends with some of the same intentions that encourage me to make my pie chart look a little more balanced.


We may even partake in a little jazzercise, perhaps.  Who wouldn't want this to be a part of their daily routine?


What do you do to stay active? Do you find yourself coming up with lots of excuses to skip working out?

Move my Butt, Go Berserk

"1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get them sit-ups right and
Tuck your tummy tight in, do your crunches like this"

Ahhh, it's time to get in shape. Meh. I suppose I could stay this way, but I really don't like being so mushy and wobbly. And I've developed a case of Mom Butt, aka Saggy Butt. In addition to all that, I want to set a healthy example for my daughter. I want to be able to run a few miles, play volleyball, wrestle with my brothers and sisters, or Dallas. :) Plus, I really do love working out - it's quite euphoric.

Last fall, I picked up Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred because of all the hype about it being pretty hardcore. Well, I was disappointed. I suppose it was because I was already SO buff. No, not really, but it really wasn't hardcore enough for me. I guess I should have bought P90X, but I found that out after my 30 Day Shred purchase. Because I'm very frugal, I still put my 30 Day Shred to good use and used it on my resting days in between my normal workout routine.

Throughout my pregnancy, I really tried to stay in shape, but being that my only remedy for my daily nausea was food, I ate A LOT. And therefore gained A LOT. I ran up until 30 weeks, when I quit running because any time I ran I could barely get out of bed in the morning from hip pain, and had to go to the chiropractor to get all cracked up. My dear chiropractor told me it was time to stop running as my hip was literally turning backwards and I really needed to take it easy. Dangit. Around 30 weeks is when I stopped most activity besides walking, which after a mile or two of that I would be in excruciating pain and have to stop and go home and eat frozen pizza with buffalo sauce on it. :) So there went my plans to stay in shape.

Sooooo....now it's time to do something. I know I said in a previous rant that it's impolite to ask a pregnant woman how much weight she has gained, but I did really gain a lot. (Hint: it rhymes with nifty-nive lounds) Praise God I had a midwife who was happy with my weight gain and didn't chastize me(like the mean WIC lady did....grrrrr). She always said that my body knows what it needs, so listen to it. Thankfully most of the weight I gained was gone by two weeks postpartum, but I've been at a standstill since then and have about 10 more pounds to go. Yeh, that means 10 pounds of mostly fat.

I've been walking regularly with India, which is great, but not enough for me. I went on one 2-mile run 3 weeks after India was born, which was incredible, but sadly, that has been my only run so far, as it's pretty tough to jog with a newborn. I do have a membership at the YMCA, but my husband isn't home very often to watch India. I'm fairly hyperactive so sitting around nursing most of the day has left me with lots of energy to burn.

Genevieve + energy to burn + no outlet = crabby Genevieve

So what did I do? I brought out the old standby, the 30 Day Shred. AND I was even a little SORE after my first rendezvous with Jillian. Mmmm-hmmmm. So, thank you Jillian for kicking my butt. But I am still contemplating P90X because I need a MAJOR butt-kicking.

"That's right, go to work
Move your butt, go berserk"