Onesie Surprise!

Onesie Surprise!

Hahaha!  This has happened to me FAR too many times!  Love it!

14 things you didn't know (or forgot) about the postpartum days

I've just finished my second round of postpartum days and there were so many things I forgot about.  The days after baby can leave a new mom or a veteran, feeling confused and sometimes even shocked!  This was my second vaginal birth but some of these will apply to c-section mamas too.  Read with caution, folks, I'm all-out honest in this one! 

1. Your tummy is going to look SO small after that baby comes out!  You will feel skinny and maybe even ready to show off a bit.  Yay you, you supermodel! And then, suddenly, it won't.  One day, you'll wake up and feel huge -- almost like you are pregnant.  You'll wonder when the pooch will disappear. (By the way, it takes a lot longer for the pooch to disappear after the second and subsequent pregnancies.) And what are you supposed to wear during these weeks (months)? No one knows! No one has a solution! You can't wear your regular clothes yet and your maternity clothes make you feel really shitty about your life accomplishments or lack thereof. Just know you're not alone, sister.  

Comparing my belly after baby #1 and baby #2, 2 weeks and 6 weeks postpartum. 

2. Speaking of tummies...yours will feel like a loaf of bread dough, sitting on the counter, waiting to rise.  Mushy, squishy, flubby and kind of dried out on the top.  You can shake it around and poke it if you'd like.  In fact, I recommend doing this as it is entertaining.  It's better to laugh than cry, right? 

3. Afterbirth pains are the B word.  These things surprised me after the birth of my first baby.  I remember having a room full of visitors and feeling like I was going to throw up as my uterus was contracting.  Second time around was MUCH worse, especially while nursing.  Oh my, these things hurt!  Some of them were as intense as my contractions towards the end of my labor!  I tried some natural remedies, which took the edge off and I took some Motrin, which made them slightly more tolerable.  My conclusion: they're just going to hurt like the bad mama jamas they are.  Try to remember that they are making your uterus smaller, which is a very, very good thing for many reasons.

4. And since we're getting personal here...you should just change your name to Body Fluid Leaker.  Because that's what it's going to feel like.  You go to the bathroom and leak.  Your baby cries and your boobs leak.  You don't have the right bread at home and you leak tears out of your eyeballs.  You get out of the shower and you don't what you should try to stop and clean up first:  the milk that is leaking everywhere or the blood leaking from your downstairs.  Decisions, decisions.

5. It takes a while to go to the bathroom after a vaginal delivery.  You've got to get the water in the peri bottle the correct temperature, get your ginormous size-of-Texas-pad ready, and make sure your pain relief measures (I use Earth Mama Angel Baby New Mama Bottom Balm- it is the absolute BEST!) are within reach.  Then you need to psych yourself up to pee, get the correct angle to spray (angle is everything) and pee at the same time.  And if you run out of water before you're done peeing? This is the worst. Now how to dry yourself after your personal bidet experience?  Do you use toilet paper and get toilet paper bits stuck to your lady parts?  Do you air dry?  Blow dry?  Just pull up your ginormous postpartum underwear?  That's all for you to figure out.

6. Shit hurts.  Pardon my language, but postpartum poop isn't always very fun.  End of story.  And if you have postpartum hemorrhoids, you need this essential oil - Cypress.  You can order it here from Young Living. I haven't been 'blessed' with hemorrhoids but I hear they are awful.

7. You may be really thirsty or really hungry or you may be neither or everything.  I'm always doggone thirsty in the postpartum days.  Food tastes icky to me and I spend the first few weeks gagging down my meals.

8. Modesty?  Ha!  Yeah, you forgot about that as soon as your first contraction started.  Don't worry, it will (most likely) come back to you at some point.

9. Lochia...you're not just going to bleed blood.  There's blood, tissue, mucus, other stuffs and clots.  And did I mention, other stuffs?  Because there is other stuffs. You may wonder what's going to come out of there next!  A rubber boot?  An old tire?  Sure!  And the clots... It's a little concerning if you don't remember passing clots or no one told you that you would pass clots, and some the size of what feels like a school bus. 

10. Your boobs are gonna hurt.  They might hurt when your baby latches, they might hurt 2 days into your breastfeeding journey, they might hurt when your milk comes in.  Or all of the above. Don't let that discourage you from breastfeeding, just flow with it (get it?) and get help from a lactation consultant. And your boobs are gonna get huge.  You will wonder how something fluid and dainty and so wonderful, like milk, can produce boulders. Who knew? Your boobs used to be so soft and cuddly and pillow-y and now they could be weapons.

11. You just might reach a new level of Craaaaaaaayyyy-zayyyyyy you didn't think was possible. These hormones are no joke. They are better than the best amusement park rollercoaster! I didn't know it was possible to say as many mean things AND loving things to my husband within a 3-minute period of time. And don't kid yourself; maybe you don't say them but we all sure as heck think them! 

12. You might suddenly get an urge to go on a run or rearrange your entire house or repaint your deck, because you feel so empowered that YOU just birthed a baby out of your vagina, but don't do those things.  Just rest.  Self (yes, I REALLY need to hear this), it's OK to rest.  You can run marathons later. OK? OK.

13. You will cry.  And cry.  And cry some more.  Your baby's umbilical stump fell off?  Waterworks, because before you know it, you'll be sending him off to college.  (You may even cry as you debate about throwing out the stump or saving it. Do whatever you want, no judgment here, mama.)  Your baby lets out the cutest little fart and your eyes leak tears because you didn't know anything, anything could be so gosh darn special!  Saw that new car commercial on TV, the one with the car veering effortlessly through the mountains?  Yep, crying, because you're nervous that maybe your baby might not pass his driver's test right away or he might go camping someday and encounter a wild bear or perhaps he'll become a firefighter, risking his life, fighting forest fires in those mountains that the car just drove by!  You will look at your husband and cry, because you can't believe you've been blessed like this.  (You may also tear up when you write a blog post and mention crying.)

14.  There is NOTHING that smells as good as your little baby.  Mmmm!  And there is no rush like nuzzling with your freshling and listening to their breath and watching their milk-drunk sleep smiles.  And their coos and hiccups will give you butterflies!  And I can't think of anything to be more proud of than the feeling of "He's mine -- I made him.  That's my son, I love him and he is worth every bit of this and more."

Escaping Facebook for Pinterest

I'm on Pinterest quite a bit.  You can follow me if you'd like.

When I first started on there, I was addicted.  But after so many newborn baby pictures, desserts, crafts with old clothes and outfits comprised of skinny jeans, a turquoise scarf, with a burnt orange cardigan with a dust-brown purse, you can get kind of sick of it. 

Still, I love to go there and dream and escape.  Mostly about crafts.  I just skip over the overdone crafts and the over-pinned outifts.

The other night, I realized it... 

I go to Pinterest when I'm sick of the bad grammar and drama on Facebook!  

So, I made this:

Yep.  That would about sum it up!

India says Daddy has stinky feet (FUNNY video)!

Good Monday!  Enjoy this hilarious video from our family!

 

Not Me Monday!

Not Me Monday is back!  In an effort to share our imperfections as moms and laugh about it, I bring you a few things that I DID NOT DO. 

Not me.

Nope, I didn't use my shirt sleeve to dust my entertainment center.  Nope, I surely got out my dusting mitt and did it properly, NOT with my shirt sleeve.  Not me, I'm not lazy!


I definitely didn't yell "Those eggs are organic!  They aren't going to waste!" when my daughter threw her scrambled eggs on the floor because she was sick of them.  And I definitely didn't eat them off the floor because of the fact they cost $2983.38 per egg. 


And I didn't feed my daughter a dinner of cheddar bunnies, string cheese and frozen blueberries because her Dad was gone, I had leftovers and I was too lazy to fix up anything else.  Most assuredly, I didn't feed her that meal on top of a Rubbermaid container because I was was too lazy to toss them in her high chair.  We already went over the fact that I'm not lazy.

 

India says Tickle, Tickle & yells at Daddy!

Rerun: Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

*I'm reposting this today because I've been busy getting ready for my daughter's first birthday party and haven't had much time to write.  At this point I was so OVER being pregnant.*


I wrote this two days before I had India after some very emotional days, filled with comments from people that clearly frustrated me. I decided to post this because I know there are many pregnant women who want this information distributed to the masses like communist propaganda. I thought about trying to tame and clean this up, but decided against that, and will let you all have it nice and raw!

For those of you who are lacking some tact; listen up. For those of you who can empathize; nod your head.

Some pregnant woman may be more gracious than me, at least to your face, but I can pretty much guarantee you will be dubbed a complete a-hole by talking about any of these things. :)


1. WEIGHT -
We all know that it's never OK to make a comment about a woman's weight, right? The only time it's kosher is if a woman has recently lost weight, and then it's OK to say something along the lines of "You look great" and end the sentence before you insert foot in mouth babbling about how big she was before. Most men shouldn't ever trample on this sacred ground. Men and women alike, generally have enough sense about them not to talk about weight gain.

Except for when you're pregnant.

For some reason, being pregnant, some people feel as if they have a license to immediately make a comment about your weight. "You're really filling out", "Are you sure it's not twins?!?!", "Eating for two", "You look like you're ready to pop!", "You are so huge/big/ginormous (insert any adjective for large)" are all things you should NEVER SAY. EVER. NEVER! In fact, don't mention weight or size at all. We already feel like blimps, fumbling around, unable to touch our toes, or sit properly in a restaurant booth, we don't need any reminders.

And don't ask me how much weight I've gained. If you volunteer your weight gain statistics to me, it doesn't mean I'm obligated to volunteer mine to you.


2. PERSONAL INFORMATION- 
Believe it or not, I'm a very private person, especially in regards to the intimate details of my body. The more I feel pushed into giving information, the more I retreat and submit vague information, or retort with a hormone-induced snarky response. So, it should be no surprise to you, when you come to me at 36 weeks pregnant and ask me if my cervix is dilated if I punch you in the face. :) No, I won't punch you, but I may ask you about your cervix, if that's OK. And if you don't have a cervix, you definitely should not be asking that question!

Don't ask me about stretch marks, nipple secretions, mucus plug, and the like. Again, I will gladly ask you the question right back, and I doubt you want to talk about any of those things either. True? 

And stop telling me to have sex to induce labor, geesh.

3. LABOR STORIES - 

"I was ripped from end to end"

 "You're planning on going natural?  Haha, good luck with that"

Save the horrow stories, please.  Yes, I've been told, watched videos, and read lots of books on what is about to happen to me. I don't need anymore negative reinforcements, I just want to be encouraged. It's one thing to share the reality of your birth story with me, and I'll be happy to hear it. It's another thing to go around fearmongering and leave me begging for a c-section.

4. YOU'RE STILL PREGNANT?!? - 
No. That's a basketball I shoved up my shirt because I want YOUR attention. Seriously? If you see me, and I still look like I've got a baby in there, and I'm not holding a baby in arms, it's safe to assume that, yes, I'm still pregnant.

Do you really think I have that much control over the situation? Do you think your comment will maybe you will magically induce labor?   Probably not.

Most likely, I feel hot, fat, hormonal, miserable and achy and I'm completely uncomfortable with even more attention being drawn to me. Recently, someone made this comment to me, and before I could think about my response, I replied with "And you still have a big mouth?". If you are OK with getting a response like this, go ahead and ask this question.

What we want to hear instead:

• You're doing a great job
• I can't wait to see you with your beautiful baby.  I can tell that you are going to be a great mom
• Labor?  You CAN do it!
• You look beautiful
• You're glowing

Hot, swollen, 38 weeks pregnant, ready to meet my baby

Did you get any weird comments when you were pregnant? 

My 10 Rules of Facebook

1. Facebook is not Myspace.  In case you're still stuck in 2006, you don't have to 'pic comment 4 pic comment', have lots of friends you don't know or take lots of self-photos of yourself staring up into the camera with your doe eyes.


2. You don't have to 'Reply All' on messages.  No kidding, there was one chain message I happened to get accidently included in, and this sucker would not die, because all 756 people that were included in the message just had to "Reply All". 


3. Don't accept a friend request right away.  You won't look cool that way.  Let it sit for a day.  Or better yet, accumulate a couple new friend requests and respond to them at the same time.  You look way cool that way.


4. Stop making FB the place where you declare your love for your significant other.  It makes it really hard for us to believe (and also makes us roll our eyes and throw up in our mouths a bit) when you post updates like "Can't wait til my boo gets off work so we can make out on a bearskin rug in front of my fireplace".  And posting ridiculous love notes on each other's walls just makes us want to vomit too.  It makes us wonder why you are being so obnoxious and it REALLY makes us want to yell, in all uppercase, of course: GET A ROOM!  An occasional "I love you" or "Thanks for the flowers!" is acceptable.  It's just when one-third of your interaction on FB is with or about your significant other, and CHEESY well, you probably need some friends.


5. Grammar.  tH!s Izz N0tt apPROpri8Te gr@mMmma ~~3Va eVA ~neVa  N doNt 4gEt 2 uSee P3ruds  k thxxxxxx byee!!  Translation:  This is not appropriate grammar, ever, ever, NEVER!  And don't forget to use periods.  OK?  Thank you, goodbye.


6. Don't sync your Twitter and Facebook.  They are two separate entities for a reason.  They both serve a very different purpose.  There are great programs that allow for selective tweeting.


7. Status updates (several points) -

• Don't post a newb status update, which was really intended to be a comment (my FAVORITE) - "It was great seeing you John!  I'll be sure to tell Cy hello.  I hope Kathy's sinuses are draining and the infection is healing up.  Will I see you next week at Kristin's concert?"
• Don't blabber on about your significant other, see point #4.
• Don't give one update about 12 different topics.  We don't know which one to comment on or if it's OK to click 'like'. "Finally cleaned my house and made dinner.  On the way home from the grocery store, my van broke down, but that's OK because my uncle is a mechanic. Does anyone have any good movie suggestions?"
• Don't update too often. "Gosh, this toilet seat is cold."  "Has anyone seen my toothpaste?"  "What to wear, what to wear...."  "Oh shoot, I need to iron my shirt!"
• Skip the boring updates, "I burned my toast this morning" and the TMI ones "My new underwire bra is really poking into my left boob and I really want to scratch it".

8. I don't want to join your farm, city, mob or cult.  If I do, I know exactly where to look: your wall, because that's all it's full of. 


9. 'Fess up to your stalking.  Nothing annoys me more than when I'm talking to someone about something going on in my life and they let it slip that somehow they knew that information.  Quickly putting two and two together, I know they found out those details from Facebook and I wish they would just admit that's where they saw it, or they were stalking, or at least leave a comment.  Much respect to those who confess to stalking.  I have a few that I stalk, but I comment on their stuff to let them know I'm there.  No one wants a creeper.  And for goodness sake, STOP pretending that you "are hardly ever on Facebook"!  We ALL know you are!


10. Don't poke anyone.  Ever.  It's inappropriate and not Christian-like.

The end.  And yes, I am guilty of some (maybe all) of these offenses.

All the things a SAHM should do!

I'm pretty much a SAHM (stay at home mom) and I LOVE it.  I do work, teaching piano lessons from my home and I help my mom about one day a week, but mostly, I'm home.

I had a lot of ideas of what it was going to be like to be home most hours of the day.  I thought about all the tasks I would accomplish and all the free time I would have.  Ahhhhh, what a luxurious life!

What??? You're laughing???  Pshh.

Here is a list of things I was going to do in all my spare time as a SAHM, and behind them is my list of accomplishments related to them. You'll see I've done real well.

- Clean my house. Everyday. Oh, it was going to be SO clean. Mopped floors, dusted baseboards, no cobwebs. (Ha! The dishes get done. Most days. Maybe more like every other day.)

- Bake scones, souffle, creme brulee and other fancy things that include cranberries, white chocolate and poached pears.  All things my friend Annalise does with two babies! (I'm still working on box brownies thankyouverymuch.)

- Or I was at least going to bake cookies. (Grocer's refrigerator section, frozen cookie dough. Yes and amen.)

- Drink tea, burn incense and worship God.  In my long hippie skirt, of course. (Does wearing my nursing pajamas while crying, "please God, help me with this crying baby" count?)

- Paint my bathroom. (No. It has to be cleaned first.)

- Bake treats for my piano students every other week or so. (I'm just glad I make it to piano lessons, dressed, mind you.)

- Visit and talk with my friends, Carma and Devora. (Hi, ladies. How ya doing?)

- Walk with my friend, April. (Yeah....)

- Play piano and sing with my friend Beth. (Beth and I did that. In 2009. Oh yeah, that was pre-India.)

- Go to the Y and workout.  Everyday.  With Jen, Beth and now Tami. (One time I did this!!)

- I was going to garden with my friend/neighbor Jessica. And probably look at interior decorating magazines with her. (I wave to her across the street as we come and go.)

- Make homemade bread. (The only bread we are eating is pre-sliced from a plastic bag.)

- Make lots more homemade food for that matter. (I have perfected "fancy" Mac N Cheese.  Mac N Cheese with lemon pepper.)

- Re-finish my kitchen table. (Tablecloth.)

- Sew curtains for our house, and toys and accessories for India. (Peeping toms are welcome. As are store bought toys.)

- Garden, garden, garden. (It's winter.  Sheesh, people.  I have HUGE plans for spring! You just wait!)

- Play piano, guitar and bass guitar. (I play piano. Have for years. Still playing the same songs I played years ago too.)

- Sell all my crap on eBay. (I have nothing to report on this.  I have however, bought a few things on eBay.)

- Do exercises videos while my baby plays alone on a blanket. (hahaha, "baby plays alone..." hahaha)

- Go out and shop at stores.  (If I was dressed, I would do this.)

- Look smokin' hot, nicely perfumed, dressed in an apron everyday when my husband came home to the smell of fresh baked cookies or bread.  Or creme brulee.  (Most days my glasses are still on as well as yesterday's smudged make-up. I also still smell of yesterday's spit-up.)

- Do my hair and make up everyday. (Does yesterday's make-up count?)

- Get dressed. Everyday.  In real clothes. (Pajamas.)

As you can see, I haven't been very productive as far as that list is concerned.  I guess didn't know that taking care of a baby would demand more time from me than when I worked before India was born. 

She wakes up from a nap, diaper change, time to nurse/check Facebook, puke on clothes, change clothes, start laundry, play, send an e-mail, eat a little bit of cold food(me), baby gets a hold of food and spills it everywhere, clean up spilled food, baby falls down, calm crying baby who bumped her head, put baby in carrier, begin dinner prep only to realize you don't have milk, google "milk replacement" and get sucked into a vegan website, answer phone, entertain baby, put clothes in the dryer, diaper explosion, diaper change, shush baby to sleep, clean up poo-splosion, baby prematurely wakes crying, shush her back to sleep, fold laundry, finish eating cold food, work on blog, start more laundry, baby wakes. I didn't even get to start on dinner, the dishes, the bills, or get the bathroom cleaned.  Repeat every 2-4 hours. 

Forget about souffle.  I just have my eyes set on a shower!

Ahhhhh, just think of all the time I'll have once I have a second baby and they can entertain each other.  I'll be free!  Yep, I'll save this list for then. ;-)

Wordless Wednesday: A new habit - lip biting!

India and Aidni: BFF's

My daugher has had quite a few BFF's in her short six months.  The pictures on the wall, the ceiling fan, and her new bestie?  Let me introduce you to Aidni.