Pulling the (paci) plug
I'm so tossed up on this issue. I don't think there is anything that I'm so unsure of in my quest as a new mom.
The pacifier! Dun, dun, dun!
It's an instant soother, keeps my 10 month old daughter quiet when we're in situations where being a baby is not OK, and helps her sleep.
India wouldn't take a pacifier for about he first 10 weeks of her life, and she has a high need to suck. So I was her pacifier. I don't have bad feelings about it, but I needed something else besides my boob to relax my very, very, very vocal baby in public situations.
She is addicted to her paci. Loves it. She will crawl the world one hundred times over to get her chubby little hands on that piece of silicone. We only let her use it for naps and bedtime, or like I said before, in instances when we need her to be quiet. It has made life convenient for us and we've never had sleep problems, thanks in part to our frienenemy, the pacifier.
On the other hand, I think India's growth slowed once the paci came into play and it's not natural.
India has been sick and I brought her to the doctor on Friday to get checked out. It was all good, but the Doc suggested that we wean her from the pacifier, as she is a highly oral baby (as India ate, chewed and sucked on everything that was within 12 inches of her) and to prevent the fluid in her ears from turning into a full blown ear infection. I know she has a high need to suck. Some babies chew on their pacifiers, or just play with them, but India is very passionate about her paci.
Of course, I had to come home and read studies and research if this was the next step we wanted to take in 'preventative medicine'. :)
My husband also had lots of ear infections as a child, and we deducted that India has a high propensity towards them as well. Given that and the reality that babies who uses pacifiers are three times more likely to get ear infections, and the fact that once you have an ear infection your probability of getting another goes up, we decided to pull the paci plug on Friday. I've never liked her having a pacifier, and as you know, I am a bit of naturalist, so we pulled the plug, cold turkey.
 |
| Goodbye, happy pacifier days! |
My sweet little girl, who always went to sleep and stayed asleep so nicely, is now that child. I admit, a pacifier is mostly for a parent's comfort.
I'm not convinced that we will keep the pacifier away from her. I'm tossed up as to whether we will wean her from the pacifier, but on the other hand, she is eating more, which is a great thing.
What's a mom to do...stop totally while we're on a roll, give it back to her and let her have it until she's two or three (believe me, this child is not going to voluntarily surrender for several more years), or give it back once her cold is gone?
For now, I think I will put everything on hold, and try for the next week to keep my sanity and hers as we wean from the pacifier.
Did you give your children a paci? Did you 'take away' the paci at a certain age? Any pacifier weaning tips? Does it get better???
Labels: attachment parenting, choices, questions
posted by Uniquely Normal Mom @ 8:11 PM
21 Comments
21 Comments:
I wish I knew what to tell you! We never used one, but I know how hard of a choice this is to make. I know you'll make the PERFECT choice for you and your little girl!
My son gave his up at 8 months while getting 4 teeth with an ear infection. Only ear infection we've had, though. We tried pretty hard to get him to take it for a day or two, but he was done. My 2nd (daughter) still had hers at 17 months (crib only) which was after she was done nursing. I made her a minky pillowcase, which she was pretty enamored with, and went for a girls' night out. My husband said she cried for less than 15 minutes. Our third, also a girl, switched from nukie to thumb at 10 weeks! She's 3 and still sucks it at night. Last one is 14 months and still has hers and is still nursing. I've read that 9-12 months is a great window for getting rid of them- Stay Strong!
Tough situation. Our daughter was very much like this...she LOVED that thing. We tried (unsuccessfully) on numerous occasions to wean her from it. She didn't have too many ear infections (maybe 3 in 2 years). All of her ear infections came with colds beforehand, so I don't know the connection to the pacifier.
However, when it was time to give it up when she was 2 1/2, we went to a "build a bear" and put her paci inside a bear she stuffed. She could still feel it in there, but couldn't put it in her mouth. The first two nights were horrible...HORRIBLE, but after that she just snuggled with it. I don't think India would "get it" if you did something like that now, but maybe if you do give it back, it's something you can think about when she's a bit older.
Drew doesn't like his pacis- he used one for about 2 months, and then we slowly stopped offering it, and he was fine... so he's paci free! :) Good luck with whatever you decide!
I wish I could help you on this. As you know Zoelle never took a paci and I was her pacifier. Like you said, I was happy about that to some extent, but also needed her to take something during those vocal times.
Thus we made the decision to have Meridian take one. She liked it just ok. Basically, she would fall asleep with it and then spit it out. At 7 months she completely rejected it. That is also when we started having major sleep issues.
When we adopted Xiomara they already had her on a pacifier. I decided to kind of offer it. She has one, but mainly chews on it. She does use it to fall asleep, but then spits it out. I am thinking of getting rid of it around a year. Not positive though because we had such a tough time with Mer when we did that.
Sigh..I don't know what to tell you. I've known since Zoelle was born that pacifiers can lead to ear infections, but I've still used a pacifier.
Tough call! Josiah loved his, but only until about 2mos when he found his thumb - he then refused it. However - he latched on to one of those mini blankets, the silky ones? And would only suck his thumb with the blankie in bed. So this was our new pacifier. And at 18 mos, we moved him to a big boy bed and we said a ceremonial goodbye to all of the binkies (though I secretly kept one for his box).
Eden only took hers in the hospital and shortly after coming home. We took Delia's away when the chiro said it could be why she was screaming all the time, so that was cold turkey too and it seemed to help.
I will say that I personally think cold turkey is the way to go though - if you give it back to her after being without it for a few days it will be that much harder to take it away again (I would think). That was our thought with the binkie thing I guess. Plus doing it this young is great - so rough for you, but its brief and you don't have to deal with debating with them about the whole ordeal "Why do the paci fairies need MY paci for the new babies, mommy?! I wanna keep it!" or some crazy thing :) Good luck!
Ahhhh the nuker... my first two LOVED theirs and didn't have ear infection problems, one each, ever. They gave theirs up at the age of two with some coaxing. Kaia stayed at Gramme's and we just forgot it, honestly. So Gramme gave her a baby doll and talked her off the ledge before bed and she was fine. When she got home we told her we didn't have anymore, they were just all gone. With Kenzie we had her give them to her new baby cousin and she was fine with that. She missed it the first few nights, a few tears but it wasn't as bad as I can imagine it would've been had we tried much sooner than that. Around age two they begin to reason. With Kali she tried but it just wasn't her thing, just mom, lots of mom and still at age 1 lots of mom. She has a blankie that she 'nurses' while she sleeps. She also will not take a bottle so we may as well still have the umbilical cord intact...
The chiro told us no paci for #3 because of the colic and we stuck to that recommendation and it seemed to have worked. I would say that if you can get it away from her now great. If she's still having sleep/fussy troubles after the illness leaves I would give it back. That could be a long year of poor sleeping and one unsettled little girl. Especially if she has a high need to suck. Your instincts will kick in right on cue if she still needs her precious paci. You're definitely doing the right thing to take it away until she is feeling better, it's hard since that's when they seem to need it most :) good luck mama
This is tough. Babies suck for comfort. So it's hard to think about taking something away that your baby is using for comfort. I can see though what the doctor is saying. But there is research that shows babies who use a paci have a decreased risk of SIDS, so there is some benefit.
I honestly haven't researched it regarding ear infections.
My first son took it and our ped and our pediatric dentist said no big deal and we didn't *have* to take it away until he was 3. We decided to wean him from it by 2 1/2 we were going to do it at 2, but he had a baby brother arrive just around that time and we were worried it was too much transition. So we limited it for bed time and naptime only. After he fell asleep we'd take it out and he didn't need it even during the night. So eventually it just kind of stopped.
One thing I've learned in parenting (4 boys so far) is that nothing lasts forever. :)
With my first one N I nursed him BUT because he was such a sucker....he just needed to suck and it wasn't for sustainance I gave him a pacifer....he had it in his mouth for most of his first year but thankfully he never really was sick. I think he had one ear infection and we think that was from flying. He just loved his pacifer and then after 13 months of being a pacifer baby he just stopped.
Little M on the other hand was never a pacifer baby & there were moments that I longed for him to be one (20 hour car drives and stopping every three or four hours but usually he was crying for the last 20 to 30 minutes which is why it would have been nice if he used a pacifer) when he got older he would find a pacifer and shove it his mouth just for a picture and then promptly spit it out!! :-)
I typed out a comment but the computer flipped out when I tried to publish it. Here we go again...
It's a tough call. If you've gone 72 hours, you're probably near the end in fighting her. I've never heard that pacis are bad for ears, and I've never had a doctor tell me not to use them. You seem like the kind of mom who take a doctor's advice as advice, and not law, though, which is a good thing. It's ultimately up to you and your husband.
I've only had to wean one child off of the paci, and it was pretty smooth. We took it away from happy times first. Then we took it away during awake times. We let her give up sleeping times on her own, as I was not willing to upset the sleeping pattern that we had worked so hard to establish.
If it were ME, I would let her have it during sleeping times only. It may be bad for ear infections, but sleep deprivation isn't so great for the health either. To me, good sleep for mother and child, is almost a sacred thing that can break a lot of normal rules.
I was a human pacifire for Ethan for the first few weeks of his life and decided that wasn't going to happen so I gave him a paci. He loved it and used it for about 18 months. He nursed for 14 months and has only ever had 1 ear infection and he's 8.5 years old now. He quit using his when they got holes in them and no longer were soothing. I said that once the last one got a hole we were done. Abram on the other hand LOVED his like India does. He nursed for 18 months and he too has only ever had 1 ear infection. With him we did a cold turkey, oh look, we can't find any paci's, NOW GO TO BED and he did fine...after a week or so.
Ethan has ALWAYS been a good eater and Abram has been my bird eaer...I don't think the paci affected their food habits...
Well, personal opinion, weaning her sooner than later is a good idea. It will make her other teeth come in better for her. I have seen parents let their children who are 3 and 4 years old suck on a pacifier. Drove me nuts let me tell ya. But, back to the topic at hand. Slowly wean her from it and she will soon forget it. Give her a stuffed animal of sorts to take the place of that much needed comfort. My son spit his out at a year and never wanted it back (if only all babies were like that!). She will do just fine. A few long nights for the both of you and Dallas but it will be okay. You are a strong woman and you guys will do just fine.
We switched out the pacifier for a bottle of water at night. It was tough for about a week, but after it was over, I was so glad! I have three sons. In my experience, taking away anythign like a bottle or paci needs to be done before they are too old. Our limit was between 12 and 18 months. By then all the pacis and bottles were gone. Other moms I knew who waited too long had a really tough time compared to our mere week of roughness. Good luck!
Thank you all SO much for your advice! I have read and re-read all the comments and weighed them out. You are all so wonderful!!! I'll do an update here soon, but for now, we're still paci-free!
I'm perfectly okay with my 8 month old daughter having a pacifier (we use the soothie type, since she won't take the "regular" type). What I did, in an attempt to stop having to go put it back in her mouth whenever it fell out in the middle of the night, was sew it to the head of a small teddy bear. The bear is easier for her to find than a small soothie. What I'm hoping is that when we decide to wean her from it, the transition will be easier because she will still have the bear for comfort, it just won't have a soothie attached to it. If you decide to switch to sleeping only (if you go back), this might help. I can send you a picture if you want.
Also, I was worried about her eating enough as well, because I noticed that if I gave her a soothie when she was fussy, she would go a lot longer before realizing she was hungry. So I timed her nursings. When she was still really small, I fed her every 2 hours, and I have gradually lengthened that until now I feed her ever 3-4. It's not a schedule, per say, but I have noticed that she will get so distracted by playing that she won't know she is hungry until I try to nurse her. If she really isn't hungry, she just sort of flops around and won't stay latched on, so I just try again later. Doing that might also help with the eating issue if you decide to keep using her pacifier.
Oh, the joys and guinea-pig-like experimentation of parenthood! Hope things are going better. It's such a hard decision sometimes... whether to keep at it or wait until the child seems more ready. We have thumb-suckers in our house. When my daughter turned 2 her pediatrician recommended that we take away her Special Blanket (she only sucked her thumb during sleep with her special blanket.) But it just seemed harsh to take away something that soothed her and helped her sleep! We ended up letting her hold onto her blanket, but we've definitely seen the consequences of our kids' thumb sucking on their teeth. If you ever need a good resource on teeth, by the way, I've found this Mom's Guide to have good info & creative tips: http://www.1dental.com/moms-guide/.
I'm perfectly okay with my 8 month old daughter having a pacifier (we use the soothie type, since she won't take the "regular" type). What I did, in an attempt to stop having to go put it back in her mouth whenever it fell out in the middle of the night, was sew it to the head of a small teddy bear. The bear is easier for her to find than a small soothie. What I'm hoping is that when we decide to wean her from it, the transition will be easier because she will still have the bear for comfort, it just won't have a soothie attached to it. If you decide to switch to sleeping only (if you go back), this might help. I can send you a picture if you want.
Also, I was worried about her eating enough as well, because I noticed that if I gave her a soothie when she was fussy, she would go a lot longer before realizing she was hungry. So I timed her nursings. When she was still really small, I fed her every 2 hours, and I have gradually lengthened that until now I feed her ever 3-4. It's not a schedule, per say, but I have noticed that she will get so distracted by playing that she won't know she is hungry until I try to nurse her. If she really isn't hungry, she just sort of flops around and won't stay latched on, so I just try again later. Doing that might also help with the eating issue if you decide to keep using her pacifier.
Well, personal opinion, weaning her sooner than later is a good idea. It will make her other teeth come in better for her. I have seen parents let their children who are 3 and 4 years old suck on a pacifier. Drove me nuts let me tell ya. But, back to the topic at hand. Slowly wean her from it and she will soon forget it. Give her a stuffed animal of sorts to take the place of that much needed comfort. My son spit his out at a year and never wanted it back (if only all babies were like that!). She will do just fine. A few long nights for the both of you and Dallas but it will be okay. You are a strong woman and you guys will do just fine.
With my first one N I nursed him BUT because he was such a sucker....he just needed to suck and it wasn't for sustainance I gave him a pacifer....he had it in his mouth for most of his first year but thankfully he never really was sick. I think he had one ear infection and we think that was from flying. He just loved his pacifer and then after 13 months of being a pacifer baby he just stopped.
Little M on the other hand was never a pacifer baby & there were moments that I longed for him to be one (20 hour car drives and stopping every three or four hours but usually he was crying for the last 20 to 30 minutes which is why it would have been nice if he used a pacifer) when he got older he would find a pacifer and shove it his mouth just for a picture and then promptly spit it out!! :-)
Ahhhh the nuker... my first two LOVED theirs and didn't have ear infection problems, one each, ever. They gave theirs up at the age of two with some coaxing. Kaia stayed at Gramme's and we just forgot it, honestly. So Gramme gave her a baby doll and talked her off the ledge before bed and she was fine. When she got home we told her we didn't have anymore, they were just all gone. With Kenzie we had her give them to her new baby cousin and she was fine with that. She missed it the first few nights, a few tears but it wasn't as bad as I can imagine it would've been had we tried much sooner than that. Around age two they begin to reason. With Kali she tried but it just wasn't her thing, just mom, lots of mom and still at age 1 lots of mom. She has a blankie that she 'nurses' while she sleeps. She also will not take a bottle so we may as well still have the umbilical cord intact...
The chiro told us no paci for #3 because of the colic and we stuck to that recommendation and it seemed to have worked. I would say that if you can get it away from her now great. If she's still having sleep/fussy troubles after the illness leaves I would give it back. That could be a long year of poor sleeping and one unsettled little girl. Especially if she has a high need to suck. Your instincts will kick in right on cue if she still needs her precious paci. You're definitely doing the right thing to take it away until she is feeling better, it's hard since that's when they seem to need it most :) good luck mama
Tough situation. Our daughter was very much like this...she LOVED that thing. We tried (unsuccessfully) on numerous occasions to wean her from it. She didn't have too many ear infections (maybe 3 in 2 years). All of her ear infections came with colds beforehand, so I don't know the connection to the pacifier.
However, when it was time to give it up when she was 2 1/2, we went to a "build a bear" and put her paci inside a bear she stuffed. She could still feel it in there, but couldn't put it in her mouth. The first two nights were horrible...HORRIBLE, but after that she just snuggled with it. I don't think India would "get it" if you did something like that now, but maybe if you do give it back, it's something you can think about when she's a bit older.
Drew doesn't like his pacis- he used one for about 2 months, and then we slowly stopped offering it, and he was fine... so he's paci free! :) Good luck with whatever you decide!
I wish I knew what to tell you! We never used one, but I know how hard of a choice this is to make. I know you'll make the PERFECT choice for you and your little girl!
Post a Comment
I love hearing from you!
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home