Monday, June 4, 2012

The Differences Between First and Second Pregnancies

I learned a few things with my first pregnancy.  Don't we all?  Being pregnant for the first time really provokes a lot of amazing emotions and feelings.  The excitement, wonder, gratefulness and mild anxiety fill nearly every waking moment.

You still have those same feelings with a second (and I assume subsequent) pregnancy, except it is now spread between the baby growing within and the little one dancing around your feet.  Or playing in the toilet water.

I've been making this list since the first trimester, editing as I went along.  Here are a few differences I've noticed between a first and second pregnancy.

1. You get bigger faster.  

Just like everyone says.  AND, it just may happen overnight!  I didn't wear very many maternity clothes with my first pregnancy and stayed in regular jeans the whole time.  I thought that getting back into shape would also keep me from expanding more than I did with my first pregnancy, but even getting my 6-pack abs back (don't judge me, they're hereditary) didn't do a thing for me.  I was actually in better physical shape starting pregnancy #2 versus pregnancy #1.  

This picture comparison details it perfectly.  They were both taken at about 30 weeks, but in the second picture, I look about the size I did when I was 35 weeks with my first pregnancy, even though I'm about 10 pounds lighter.  Go figure!  I did have a cheeseburger and fries for lunch and 6 pieces of pizza for dinner, so I know it's exaggerated a bit, but still.


30 weeks with Baby #1 and 30 weeks with Baby #2




2. People aren't as excited.  

Just because you maybe had crying, cheering, hugs and lots of congratulations the first time around doesn't mean you'll be met with the same reception the second time.  For us, when we shared our exciting news, some people were thrilled, some were happy and some acted like we told them we were getting a new pair of socks or a pet fish.  We had friends and strangers that we more excited than some family members.  Yes, it can be hurtful, but revel with those who are excited about you and your bump!  Try not to let it get to you - you are the parent and you know how amazing and precious this life is! 


3. You don't get bothered as much.  

The fact that people leave you alone in a way, don't ask you about every personal detail and sometimes don't ask a thing at all about your pregnancy can be an OK thing.  As a first time mom, everyone has an advice, story, thought, question, or raised eyebrow to give you.  

Also, I knew to expect the same questions every time we saw people the first time around.  I haven't noticed that as much with this pregnancy.  They either figure I've got it down or maybe they think I'm too far gone!   

4. You don't buy lots of crap.  

You know now that you need very few things for a baby.  Boobs, a bed, diapers and some clothes and most of the time, you have a content baby.  I knew that I didn't need much with my first pregnancy, and didn't buy the usual crib, bedding set with 2 matching lamps, 3 types of bouncers/rockers, and every toy marketed to the 0-3 month age, but I still did cave with a few things.  You learn that babies don't really care about toys at that age, the lamp will break, your second baby is a different gender rendering the crib bedding useless, and your kid hated all 3 bouncers.

5. You still need things.

Even though you don't get sucked into all the baby paraphernalia, you still realize that this time, you're getting this, this and that.  I naively assumed that because we got all we needed with baby #1, we wouldn't need much for baby #2.  Wrong.  Things wear out, break, get lost or get recalled.  And it's not just clothes.  You realize that instead of this, that would be more beneficial.  

If you're like me, you're going to splurge on something you didn't get the first time around and just made work (small size cloth diapers) and get what you want instead (newborn cloth diapers).  And of course, there are the additional expenses that you never had before like, a place to sleep for two children and a double stroller (yes, I want one because I need exercise to keep sane).

6. You don't have time to dote.   

Maybe it's because I was sick all the time with my daughter, but I remember reading baby name books and recording videos of her kicking in my tummy and singing to her.  I've been lucky to take weekly pictures of my pregnancy progression this pregnancy and haven't had time to read more than a book or two relating to pregnancy.  Sometimes I feel guilty that every time I talk to this baby, India interrupts or grabs my belly or has to come sit by me and talk to or kiss the baby, but that's just reality now. 

7. It goes faster!  

Can I get an AMEN?!  I really, really, really try not to complain while pregnant (in spite of some unhappy ailments) because I do want to be grateful for every day that I have the privilege of growing this little one in the best environment possible.  But, if I'm being honest, the majority of the last trimester could also be called I-can't-wait-to-get-this-baby-out-NOW trimester!  Because we don't find out the gender of our babies, the anticipation of baby's birth day is looked forward to!  

What differences did you notice between your first and second (or subsequent) pregnancies?  












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3 Comments:

At June 5, 2012 at 3:04 PM , Anonymous Lois said...

You were sick all the time with your daughter, if I remember right.  Are you as sick with this one?  Asking because I was sick the Entire. 9. Months with my daughter, and I'm scared to do it again and be horribly sick again, only this time with the responsibility of caring for my daughter at the same time

 
At June 5, 2012 at 8:45 PM , Anonymous Uniquely Normal Mom said...

 I wasn't sick all the time with her, but I was sick everyday!  Mostly at night. :/  I wasn't as sick with this baby and still randomly get waves of sickness (mostly at night as well).  Hopefully when that time comes, another pregnancy will be kinder to you! :)

 
At February 2, 2013 at 4:39 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This time round has gone super quick and the main difference I've noticed is that this time I get no sympathy or compassion from my husband last time I finished work by 35 weeks this time I'm 38 weeks and still working, last time he would cook dinner carry the groceries for me this time he sits on his butt on the couch! Last time I got foot rubs and cuddles this time I get crap for not having vanilla ice cream for him to eat! Perhaps changing partners with each child isn't such a bad idea!

 

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