Here's to a new week

Last week wasn't very fun.  I'm going to get a bit whiny & negative here - I'm sorry, I really am.  I don't like to be negative or selfish or have little pity parties, but sometimes I do all of those thing.  And I'm inviting you to my pity party right now! :-)

Last Thursday is when my good attitude crumbled.

We've only had one car for about a month and a half, which Dallas has because he works all the time. I mostly work from home, and because he is always going here and there for work, it just makes it easier to let him have it.  I've been fine not going anywhere, for DAYS at a time, even almost a week at a time, but this week, in addition to other circumstances, it began to catch up with me.  I've pretty much said no to all social outings for a while now, because I hate being dependant on others for rides.  My only solace was that Dallas was going to be going out of town for a few days, which would leave me with the car!


Also, India was whiny and fussy and crabby and "talking back" for a few days.  Please God, let it be teeth, or I'm ordering an exorcism, stat.  This isn't normal for my usually happy little girl.


I was also having one of those everyone has a cuter hairstyle, cuter face, cuter clothes, cuter life than me days and feeling yucky.  You know, kind of how you feel when you have your period.  Except I didn't have mine.


India has also been battling some diaper rash, which made me feel like a crap mom.  Through the process of elimination I was trying to figure the cause.  Her rash would clear up, but the second anything else touched it, the rash appeared again.  It was defeating.  The only good thing about it was that she used the potty all day and only wet her diapers during nap!  Yay for no diapers!


So I spent most of Thursday, with a crying baby, frustated with diaper rash, and really sick of never getting out of the house, when my list of errands/Christmas shopping/any excuse to leave was just getting longer. 


I felt overwhelmed.

And so I cried (the first of many cries).


Then we got word that something we were counting on financially, panned out to be nugatory.  This was what really pushed me over the edge, because as much as I had tried not to, I was counting on this working out. And let's be honest, finances are really tight right now.  We're pretty much hanging in the red.  And I cried again.  I think this one got me cussing too.  I can't really remember because there was SO much emotion in 24 hours.  But I was REALLY upset about this one.

I also found out that I was going to probably be losing two of my piano students.  I only take a handful of students, so when I lose two, that's a big chunk of my income. More much needed money lost.


Then Dallas had to make a trip out of town Thursday night to go and get a temporary license for our new-to-us car that is waiting for us to pick it up in Arizona.  Dallas drove out there at 11pm (he's a busy guy) to get the license.  I woke up at 2am and realized Dallas wasn't in bed and FREAKED out.  My phone was full of missed alerts, and I instantly knew what had happened.  I found Dallas in the living room, afraid to tell me that the only car in our possession was sitting on the side of the road, broke down (Progressive said we didn't have roadside assistance -they lied, we did.  But THEY finally figured that out after Dallas had arranged a ride home). 


Then I really lost it.


Crying. Thought I was going to puke.  Sweating.  More crying.  Shaking.  More thinking I was going to throw up.


I *might* have overreacted.  But it was 2-something in the morning and I was just awakened from a deep sleep.  A sleep I really needed after the drama I had stirred all day.


Then it hit me.  Dallas was going to be leaving for Arizona, and I was counting on the car during that time.  The car was going to get me out of the house, whenever I wanted.  I could get Christmas shopping done, I could browse the Target clearance inside aisles, and I could grocery shop.  I could maybe even make it to my mom's to work. 


But no, instead, it was sitting on the side of some road, waiting to be towed, and given an expensive diagnosis.  Car problems wouldn't be the end of the world, except we've put more into this car than I care to disclose.  But we needed to get from Point A to Point B.


And all that meant I wouldn't have a car while Dallas was gone.


By this point I was hysterical.  And really overtired. 


I had planned a fun date with one of my girlfriends Friday morning, a date that both she & I needed, but now I was going to have to cancel it because we would be in the middle of trying to tow our car somewhere (remember, Progressive didn't think we had roadside assistance, but we did. I'm not bitter.  Really.  I'm not.)  and arrange rides.


More tears.


Then I started thinking about how now we have to get two new-to-us cars.  We can't afford two new cars.  We've lived without a car payment for almost 9 years, and we've lived without one because we can't afford even one!  It hit me then that we will now have two car payments. 


And while we're waiting to buy a 2nd car, I will still be carless.  I can't work my other job, and therefore I can't make money to even buy another car.  And we all know what sort of salary youth pastor's make.


I also started questioning if our new car in AZ, which we bought sight unseen, was going to be a bust too - like I felt everything else was at that moment.


UGH.


The good news is whoever buys our old car will have a like-new car.  New fuel pump, timing belt, water pump, etc, etc, etc.  It's not good news for our wallet, but we want it to be in good condition when we sell it.


My day did get better though.


I fell asleep praying, and woke up with a better attitude. 


Our car got towed, and we made it back in town so I could go out with my friend!


Then my parents told me I could use their soon-to-be for sale Denali while Dallas was in AZ so I could have a car!  And an all wheel drive one at that!


Dallas saw someone he knows at a gas station who had the same car as the one we are buying in AZ.  Dallas talked to this guy for a while and got to see his car - the exact model as ours.  Dallas felt that God was reassuring us that it was going to be alright. 


As we drove around that day, using different vehicles for different things, we both concluded that we are blessed. 

It's just a car. 

It's just diaper rash. 

It's just Christmas shopping. 

At least we have each other, our health and many friends who helped us out and encouraged us for those hours that we were lagging.

Here's to a new week, and a new attitude!