Are breastfeeding mothers being obscene?
Facebook has had a long hate-only relationship with breastfeeding and any pictures of women breastfeeding.
TheLeakyBoob (great name, right?), a Facebook group that supports breastfeeding mothers, and is a solace for moms with many questions, has been deleted again, and again for violating Facebook's terms of service - with no other explanation. Not only that, but several members of the group have been deleted for posting pictures of themselves breastfeeding.
I know, I know. About half of you are saying to yourself, "Good! I don't want to see any pictures of breasts". Believe me, the pictures aren't graphic at all. You see less breast than what you see on a perfume ad. I'm pretty sure you see more breast while TV-watching, grocery-aisle-magazine-browsing, ad-viewing, being-amidst-the-general-public type of day than the average picture of one of these mothers feeding her child.
Who's ringing the alarm in the grocery store aisle? Who is reporting profiles of the many other sex goddesses and their revealing photos on FB?
The hypocrisy has been documented over the years, and the problem isn't just with FB, it's a double standard in our society. If you want to see a post about society's double standard, click here. If you want to see FB's issue, click here. PLEASE NOTE: Both links contain obscene material. I'm not showing this to be risque, I'm only highlighting an issue.
In the midst of their deletion, every mom page (Cafemom, parenting.com, just to name a few) went nuts and several other FB breastfeeding groups formed and membership skyrocketed. It has made national news. Many more lactivists have now been born.
No one knows why the page was shut down. FB claims it was an accident. You can read more here.
Now, I consider myself quite the lactivist, and have no problem with seeing other women breastfeed in person or on a photo. I personally don't post photos of myself breastfeeding because I don't want people seeing any more of me than an accidental cleavage flash every now and then. I don't know who is viewing what photo, and I'm not comfortable with that. Like I said, I have nothing wrong with others doing such things, I'm just a generally private person.
Our culture has a complete double standard. I get nasty looks when I feed my daughter, with a tent over me, with NOTHING exposed at a restaurant. Yet someone can be in the same restaurant, cleavage out, thong revealed, and they get looked at, but in a completely different way.
Why the disgust at me? I'm only lowering the cost of their health care by breastfeeding. They have eyes with eyelids and heads with necks. They can look away at my giant nursing cover.
I'm not being flamboyant or spiteful. My daughter just wants to eat.
I see things all day long that I don't like or don't agree with. Mostly, I ignore those things. I chose to look away when the Victoria's Secret ads on TV. But yet the same guys who awkwardly clear the
I'm pretty sure that globally, more women live like me and breastfeed their children. But yet, we, as breastfeeding mothers, are seen as obscene?
What do you think? Are you offended by a breastfeeding mother?
Labels: breastfeeding, rant, thoughts
posted by Uniquely Normal Mom @ 3:41 PM
9 Comments
9 Comments:
Amen! Love this and you are right on!
Oh dear God NO, breastfeeding is natural and how God MADE us woman. For the love of all good things, why do people have to be so darn lame? I don't even see it as obscene to bf without a cover, I mean I don't eat with a blanket over my head, so why should my baby? I'm so tired of seeing half naked woman in public, for once I'd welcome a nursing mothering in my sight before a thong showing, cleavage bearing, not so appropriately dressed woman any day!!!
Let bf mothers be...
On a side note...I had my SIL leave a holiday function at my parents house b/c I was bf without a cover and she didn't want my BROTHER to see my breast. First of all, my brother didn't even have a CLUE I was even nursing, and second...he didn't want to see MY breast anyway not that there was anything to even see! Her loss by leaving, not mine :)
I say bf where you want and when you want and if someone has an issue give them my number :)
I think most people who think breastfeeding is obscene don't want to see breasts as a means of nourishment for baby. They would rather see them as object of desire, and the thought of milk and babies and all the rest of the things associated with breastfeeding, ruins the sexual appeal of boobies for them. Just remember it is their problem not yours. Some people just need to get a hold of themselves
While I do think that breastfeeding is great for those that can/do choose that, and I personally don't have any issue with breastfeeding in public, I will say that I am bothered by those moms that don't cover up - JUST as I am bothered by any other woman walking by showing too much boob. It is offensive to me simply because I have a husband and I have a son - and I think there are enough temptations thrown at them by the media (as you mentioned) - we don't need any more in their face. The worst was when we were waiting to catch a plane - and there was a mom with no cover at all, running around with her boob out and the baby hanging on for dear life as she ran with him like a football desperately trying to get his meal.
Like I said - I think its great that many women can breastfeed, I just think its more respectful of others when you wear one of those super-cute 'hooter-hiders' (or whichever type you prefer!) ;)
All I could think while reading your post, Genevieve, was "AMEN SISTAH!!"
Time and time again, I have had people say "I didn't even KNOW you were NURSING!" Obviously not showing a lot of skin...
When baby gets older, you do have to be prepared for the sudden de-latch when they abruptly decide they are done now and are going to look around at whoever just said something--that's always fun, except it's not.
My family (dad, brothers, etc.) are all really great about me nursing and I'm the only one in my family who does breastfeed. They don't get weird on me when the baby's hungry.
My husband's family--whole 'nother story. That is a hard one for me.
I also think I'm puttin' Salena's number on speed dial. You go girl! I love the part when she said that she doesn't eat with a blanket over her head, so why should the baby?!
I loved your blog. I hope your voice helps many moms have the confidence to try breastfeeding. I have breastfed 3 boys and am going on 6 1/2 years straight. With my first child I was a bit more eager to please other people and so hid. A few gross bathrooms and another child cured me of that. I have breastfed in front of almost everyone I know. And at pretty much every public place you can think of proudly. And for what its worth most people didn't know. You get the looks the snide remarks. Once I got asked to go to the bathroom to feed my child by a mother who said her kids didn't like it...her kids were 2 and 6 months. I said my child will eat in the bathroom when you take your meal in the bathroom to eat it. She said no that would be gross. Yeah, that's my point.
As for covering up. There comes a time when the child wants to see the world and covering up is no longer really an option. And again, try eating with a blanket over your head. There are many ways to breastfeed discreetly. There is also a social benefit to breastfeeding. When people see breastfeeding as normal they are more likely to encourage others to breastfeed. I had one person tell me that when she was pregnant that she never even thought of breastfeeding until she saw me do it once and then thought...I should try that.
Breastfeeding is an amazing experience and should be flaunted. And more often then not it is women who find it offensive and men hardly notice if they notice at all.
You all are great women, with wonderful points! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I hear resounding support, and yes, I do hope I encourage others to breastfeed - it is normal and it's not sexual.
Several of you make another point: the day will probably come soon when India will want to look around and won't be happy being covered. I'm not sure how I will handle that. If I'm in a room with women, no problem, I can be discreet. But I know it would be just my luck for her to throw a tantrum in a room of men and draw attention!
Above all, I want to respect and honor everyone in this situation....men, other woman, my daughter and myself. I'm not exactly sure how that will play out, but I'm sure when the time comes, I will have confidence in my decision. :-)
You all are great women, with wonderful points! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I hear resounding support, and yes, I do hope I encourage others to breastfeed - it is normal and it's not sexual.
Several of you make another point: the day will probably come soon when India will want to look around and won't be happy being covered. I'm not sure how I will handle that. If I'm in a room with women, no problem, I can be discreet. But I know it would be just my luck for her to throw a tantrum in a room of men and draw attention!
Above all, I want to respect and honor everyone in this situation....men, other woman, my daughter and myself. I'm not exactly sure how that will play out, but I'm sure when the time comes, I will have confidence in my decision. :-)
Oh dear God NO, breastfeeding is natural and how God MADE us woman. For the love of all good things, why do people have to be so darn lame? I don't even see it as obscene to bf without a cover, I mean I don't eat with a blanket over my head, so why should my baby? I'm so tired of seeing half naked woman in public, for once I'd welcome a nursing mothering in my sight before a thong showing, cleavage bearing, not so appropriately dressed woman any day!!!
Let bf mothers be...
On a side note...I had my SIL leave a holiday function at my parents house b/c I was bf without a cover and she didn't want my BROTHER to see my breast. First of all, my brother didn't even have a CLUE I was even nursing, and second...he didn't want to see MY breast anyway not that there was anything to even see! Her loss by leaving, not mine :)
I say bf where you want and when you want and if someone has an issue give them my number :)
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