My addiction

Being that last night was Friday night, D and I spent most of the time lying on our respective couches watching Season 7 of 24. For anyone who hasn't seen '24', there is no other way to describe it but as the crack cocaine for tv. Your entire body escapes to CTU, or LA, or Washington, DC with Jack Bauer. You are racing with him, combating terrorism, throwing punches, outwitting the enemy, and never taking a breather, because you know, that in 24, it's not over until 8am the following day. Even after you turn off your tv, you are startled by the jacket hanging on the doorknob in your house, your heartrate is still elevated, and you listen for every little sound in your still house to give you a clue as to what your next move should be. Your 24-induced paranoia can even disturb your sleep and infiltrate your dreams. As soon as your body begins to rest again, which may takes minutes or hours, depending on your body's sensitivity to Crack 24, you start to crave it again. You barely remember the events that occurred in the last hour on 24, but you remember the euphoria and complete transcendental bliss that pulsed through your veins.

What I have just described for you is a typical 24 high. Once you start watching, you can't stop.

But it didn't work that way for me last night. I could barely watch the show, I was dreaming of "dangerous" things. Things that most people will warn against. I was dreaming of Haiti, and all the perilous things that are occurring there right now. I was googling flights, MRE's, and talking to my friend, Rhyan ,who is currently working in an orphanage there, who was begging us to come and help. They have enough food and water for us, and we could do physical work, especially my big, strong husband.

But what good am I, a pregnant woman? The nannies have their own families and losses to contend with right now, but are sacrificing that to care for these little orphans. They don't even have the time to grieve for their losses, their people's losses, their country's losses, because they believe so strongly in serving "the least of these". I can't do major physical work, but I can help with these precious ones. I can change diapers. I can feed little ones. I can clean. I can cook. But what will I say to them? I don't speak a drop of Creole. I don't know anything about Haitian culture. But I do speak the universal language of love and human touch. I speak the universal language of tears and heartfelt compassion. I speak the language of comfort. I also speak the language of Hope.

D and I have never let fear drive us, or at least we've tried. God has called us to many things that people don't understand, and when we begin to let those doubts fill our minds, we are constantly reminded of some of our life verses:

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

He delights in every detail of their lives.

Though they stumble, they will never fall,

for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Once I was young and now I am old.

Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned

or their children begging for bread.

The godly always give generous loans to others,

and their children are a blessing."

Psalm 37: 23-26

People may not understand if God leads us to go to Haiti at this time. That's OK. I don't understand why they chose to stay home and uninvolved.

The bottom line is I don't know if I'll ever be content just laying on my couch watching 24. As much fun as it is, I would rather live a worthwhile adventure; a life ready and willing to serve and help, no matter what my personal circumstances are. That provides a high that far exceeds anything else, and just like 24, I can't wait for the next thing.