I take her for granted

A couple I know lost their precious baby boy this week.  Devastating. 

My heart aches and breaks every time I hear these stories no matter if it's a good friend or someone I've never seen because it would be one of the most crushing circumstances that we can imagine as mothers. 

So, I cry and I hold my baby close, smell her head, kiss her a million times, apologize a billion times and ask God to help me remember what a blessing she is.  And I pray for those who are hurting because of such a traumatic loss.

It's easy to take my daughter for granted in the routine or even difficult moments.  It's easy to yell at her, sigh as she ruins one more thing, lose my patience as she cries and whines at my feet, curse under my breath as she arches her back in a tantrum, and ignore her when 'I have things to do'. 

I have many friends who have lost children and would love to have even a few hair-pulling moments with their child right now....if that meant having a few more minutes with their precious baby.  I don't want to forget what a gift she is, to thank God for this little person and be grateful for this beautiful piece of my husband and me.

I love.love.love....

-the sweet smell of my daughter's breath

-her little and big tooth bite

-when she pulls close to me and kisses me

-her chubby wrists

-the endless sounds, shreiks and shrills

-her signs, communicating her needs

-how she dances the instant music turns on

-her whisper voice

-her call for 'Mama' - "mamamamamamaaaa"

-the way she walks around the house, calling for me, not satisfied until she's right back at my side

-her smile when I hide my face

-her sleepy eyes while she breastsfeeds

-her smiles and giggles when she breastfeeds

-how she has been a little ham since forever

-the way she mimics everything I do

-when I whisper in her ear that there is nothing she could do to make me love her less and she giggles

-the way her lower lip quivers when she cries

-her excitement when Dada comes home

-the way she tucks her lip in

-how she opens her eyes wide and says 'Oh' as soon as she wakes up and many times thereafter

-her desire for comfort

-how she takes apart and climbs on everything

-how she MUST have a baby in her arms at all times

-how she signs 'baby'

-her inhale giggle

-the way she says and signs 'outside' - "ouss-ide"

-her smart mind

-the smell of her head, it's delicious

-her proud smile - big and cheesy

-how she MUST as 'was sat?' (what's that) a hundred times even when she knows full well exactly what it is

-the way she explores everything

-her wispy curls

-how she pats my back as we cuddle

-her tiny tears that take a lot of emotion in order to appear

-when her little hands find their way to my mouth

-her shreiks of glee as she is the center of attention

-bright blus eyes that love me

-when she wears tight shirt or pants and I can see every roll

-the way she makes friends with EVERYONE by yelling 'hi', flashing a big cheesy grin and waving

-when I ask her if she's Mama's baby and she shakes her head and says 'yah'

-the way she says goodbye to al her new friends by blowing kisses and waving 'bye'

-her nekkid body

-her big hugs

-the way she runs away from my laptop when she gets caught pounding on it

-how she thinks she's hilarious when she signs 'potty' and makes the SSSSSSSSSSSsssssss sounds

Every single minute of her life, this life, is a gift.

India trying to wear my flip flops. :)