Jealous on Valentine's Day

It's easy to be jealous on Valentine's Day.  I know I am finding myself wanting every holiday.


Whether you are single, dating, married or widowed, it's very easy to succumb to our human tendency towards covetousness.


When you hear about the billions of dollars Americans spend annually on Valentine's Day and hear how a man spends on average over $100 on this day, sometimes it's hard not to ask "Why not me?" and "Don't I deserve the best?"


I even found myself wishing selfishly for something today, momentarily forgetting that my husband and I don't normally buy each other gifts (let's admit, most Valentine's gifts are frivolous) in order to bless others and live not in excess.  We try to follow those rules mostly, but don't worry, we aren't legalistic about it.

But there is something in me that still wants things and at the same time battles with my convictions. 


It's not that I'm not worth celebrating; it's just that we've seen too many atrocities. People dying of starvation, kids that have been maimed by their own parents, boys held as sexual slaves in monasteries, girls exploited by foreign tourists, families digging through trash and landfills to feed their children, girls as young as six years old being married off, and people devastated by the dirty water that wreaks calamity in their community. 


And these things aren't just abroad, they are right next door to us.


After seeing all that, it's still hard, all these years later to justify fancy chocolate and flowers.


I've decided that today, instead of desiring things, I will choose to be grateful, for a husband, who loves me no matter how many days I forgo shaving my legs in the winter, and who exhibits gracious love to me every day of the year.  I will be thankful he is the same behind closed doors and encourages me to live for a greater purpose that will last longer than any gift.  I will be grateful that he chooses to give to those who really need gifts, and couldn't care less about earthly possessions.  I will be grateful that he doesn't raise his voice at me ever and he respects me. 


Tonight we'll eat leftover pizza and celebrate our love with gratefulness and will hopefully be able to bless others, not out of obligation or guilt, but out of genuine belief and love. 


Isn't that the reason for it all anyway?