Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Biting while Breastfeeding: Oh the pain!

I've been breastfeeding India for over 8 months now, and throughout the course of these months, many people have asked me what I was going to do once she got teeth.

I just shrugged my shoulders because 1. most children get teeth around 4-6 months and 2. many moms breastfeed their children well into toddler-hood with full sets of little, sharp chompers.  So I never thought anything of it.  I normally responded with, "Keep feeding her??"  I have had zero problems with breastfeeding - no clogged ducts, no pain, no mastitis, no latch problems - and since I didn't have an issue with some of the most common problems, I never thought I'd have an issue with biting.

Then it started happening to me.  BITING.  With almost 4 teeth, all I can say is ouch, ouch and OUCH!

It's hard to believe this cute thing is capable of such torture! She's even drawn blood before.
Cute and cuddly, right? Wrong.
As I found out, biting is very common.  What I didn't know is that most kids stop after a few firm nos and stopping the nursing session.  Biting is caused by boredom, wanting attention, being finished nursing, or wanting to play.  Most moms report that after a few times of telling the child no, or removing them from the breast, they learned not to bite.

It seems that works for everyone right now, except my daughter.  We have spent hours in this progression: We start to nurse, she gets mad and bites, I tell her NO! and stop feeding her.  A few minutes later, we start nursing again, she bites, I say NO! and set her on the floor.  Then we start it all over again. 

Hours.

Everyone says it's so simple and their child only bit once or twice after they implemented their firm NO! and stopped the nursing session, and since 99% of the biting took place after they were done nursing, that was a simple and effective solution. 

This was defeating for me because my daughter isn't biting because of the usual reasons.  She bites at the beginning of a nursing session because my milk doesn't let down fast enough for her.  Urgh.

Some have recommended I use the pump to stimulate let down first, which is a great idea, but I don't want her to be dependent on the pump for let down. 

I guess I don't have any answers, which is hard for me, as I love to learn and read and learn the why and how behind everything.  I love to know how to fix things, and problem-solving, well, it is one of my favorite things to do.

I normally have an answer for everything except for this.  I can't find any solutions for this form of biting.  If you are reading this looking for an answer, I'm sorry!  You are NOT ALONE!  I'm just going to keep trying and persevering and I hope you will too!  I know one thing I won't do though, and that is use force back on her.  Flicking, biting in return, spanking, pinching, and other forms of the physical nature have caused many, many babies to wean.  I even heard of one mother who yelped out in pain and her sensitive daughter refused to nurse again because it scared her so badly.  Can you imagine that guilt? The last thing I want to have happen is to have my daughter connotate breastfeeding with pain and frustration.

In the end though, after a few shrieks from me and a couple of tantrums for India, I love this little girl and her desire to eat!  She (and the painful bites) are worth it!
Pookie and two of the perpetrators!
Did you have a biter?  What breastfeeding obstacles did you have to overcome?

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16 Comments:

At March 22, 2011 at 12:19 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello!

OK,
I am not necessarily saying I am proud of this “remedy” to the biting while nursing baby, but it is what was told to me and it did work.

I was told that when the baby bites flick their cheek with your thumb and finger. Just once. This will scare that baby and hurt just a little and the baby makes the connection with biting and discomfort. Only had to do this once, no more then twice per baby.

I am not into pain for babies. I have strong feelings regarding the necessity of curcumsition and I was not a big spanker. Nursing however is so important that if this little “flick” solves a problem fast and enables the nursing relationship to continue it was worth it for me.

Nurse on!
Devora Rotering

 
At March 22, 2011 at 12:24 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

DEVORA said, not Derek. :)

 
At March 22, 2011 at 12:26 PM , Blogger Gretchen R said...

All of my kids have bitten me at one point. The first 2 would stop after a firm no, and removing them from the breast. My 3rd, however, had other ideas. He was about India's age. I was planning on feeding him past 12 months, but at 11 months, I began the process of weaning him, because it was becoming not as beneficial for both of us as is was in the past. I think if that had happened with my first, I would have had more guilt, but as he was my 3rd, I just shrugged my shoulders and figured it was time.

Part of the reason I think he had the worst time biting was that I was pregnant with the baby that I lost... I think the hormone change either didn't give him enough milk or changed the flavor. Taken a test lately? ;)

At any rate, don't beat yourself up about it. I've learned that being a mother isn't just giving your baby the ideal. It's doing your best and adjusting as you go.

For instance, if we stopped homeschooling started to become a strain on Silje or our family, and we decided to put her back into public school, it wouldn't be because we failed. Failing would be seeing a problem, and not making a change because of pride. I'm not saying you should stop nursing India, because eventually it will work itself out. I just don't want you to feel bad if you do decide to wean her earlier than you originally intended because it's just not working anymore. (I put up with the biting for 3 months before I threw my hands up. I tried EVERYTHING. He was weaned just shy of 1 year, which isn't too bad. I was digging my heals in for the year mark though!

 
At March 22, 2011 at 2:17 PM , Blogger Megan said...

So sorry to hear she is biting. I never really realized before I had Scarlett just how difficult breastfeeding can be at times! It is also hard when you have a child who doesn't respond like you think they should to the various things you have tried. My advice is to just keep trying everything you can think of. Eventually it may work itself out. After struggling with bleeding/cracked nipples for over 12 weeks I was so ready to give up. It is hard to deal with pain, but we know it is so worth it. Hopefully it is just a phase she will get through!! Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I can give you encouragement. Also kellymom.com is an awesome site which may have some ideas for you to try.

 
At March 22, 2011 at 3:53 PM , Blogger the mom~ said...

Both my boys bit me. Ethan only a few times and a "OUCH that hurt!" and he quite. Abram...well we had other issues. He was like India. I don't quite remember how we got him to stop but Peggy from the WIC office was wonderful in helping me through the issue. On one occasion I do remember Abram bit me so hard, I instantly reached with my pinky finger to release the latch and ended up punching him in the face. A crying, sad baby and a bleeding nippled mama later...we were ok. He nursed for 18 months :)

 
At March 22, 2011 at 9:53 PM , Blogger Melissa said...

Since I've nursed a babe or two, (or *ahem* eight) I have experienced biting on more than one occasion. More like 587. Or so. I can't be exactly sure...
With the first seven, I did use pain as a deterrent. As you mentioned, a time or two of the flick on a cheek and that was it. I had no problems whatsoever with a nursing strike or early weaning. I do personally know a mom who experienced a nursing strike, though it wasn't due to a biting issue--I say that to let you know that I understand your fear that she will quit nursing...and it's not exactly something you can get back with her.
All that said, with Ivy (#8) she bit from DAY ONE. I'm not kidding. I remember her being literally minutes old and her clamping down her tiny jaws and my eyes going really wide.
For months, I just slid my finger in to break the latch, after peeling myself off the ceiling.
Many many many peelings off the ceiling later, she got teeth. Since I don't know what is the next level up from "peeling off the ceiling" let's just say "ouch" doesn't exactly cut it. I dreaded nursing her because she drew blood so often. Teeth marks--HAH! Try teeth DENTS that lasted for HOURS! With Ivy it seemed to be more common at the end of a nursing session, but not always by any means. I knew she wasn't being naughty because she was usually resting contentedly when she would clamp down. A friend told me that she will probably have tmj when she's older; made sense to me as with her she did seem to be locking her jaw more than biting.
Anyway, as soon as she started dozing I had to pull her close (as odd as it sounds--to cut off her air as her nose pressed close to the breast) so that she would rouse enough to actively nurse, and I had to be sure to detach AS SOON as she was done. This was difficult for me because I'm kind of a lazy nurser...baby feeds whenever he/she wants for basically as long as he/she wants. To be vigilant about that was a new one for me.
I'm (sort of) sad to admit that I was really ready for her to wean, when she did so herself the day of her birthday.
I told my husband repeatedly that if I wasn't so passionate about breastfeeding, I would have weaned her much earlier. She was a very difficult child to nurse.
I hope you and India get this figured out very soon or that you develop breasts of steel to endure it with. (sorry--was that tacky?)

 
At March 23, 2011 at 2:48 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

What a delight it was for me to stumble upon your blog last night, Genevieve! I was your camp counselor very long ago :) You have a beautiful family. I hear of your family every once in awhile through our mutual friend, Sarah Thacker. Sorry about the biting! That's no fun. I nursed my 3 little ones for 2 years each, and I've definitely experienced my share of that!

Martha Erickson

 
At March 23, 2011 at 4:07 PM , Blogger Uniquely Normal Mom said...

Man, I have some knowledgeable friends! Thank you all for reading this and responding with your stories and advice. It's SO nice to know I'm not alone!

Today, India has only bit me one time, and it was pretty gentle! :) So maybe all that stopping and starting is working.

Devora - Thanks for sharing...if I get desperate, I might have to tap her cheek or something. Like you said, it's a short payment for the chance to BF longer.
Salena - I will talk with Peggy if this continues - great idea!

Gretchen - You made me LOL! THANK YOU for your encouragement! It means a lot!

Megan - I was thinking of you as I wrote this as you've been through SO much! You are my breasfeeding hero! <3

Salena - If this continues, I think I will contact Peggy. What a great idea!

Melissa - YOU are a champ! I cannot imagine biting from day 1!! I've heard of pulling the child into your breast to stop the clamping...might have to try that one too. And yes, breasts of steel is totally appropriate! :)

Martha!! I'm so happy you stopped by and even happier that you said 'hi'! I've kept up with you briefly through Sarah and your MIL's postings on FB. Are you on FB? I'd love to connect with you!

 
At March 25, 2011 at 9:07 PM , Blogger amy + ryan said...

Ouch. Biting. OUCH. Paisley bit. I do remember her biting as she dozed off a few times. But I feel like her biting was also sort of random...

Anyway. I had a thought for you. You said India (I love her name) bites while she's waiting for letdown. I know you don't want to be dependent on the pump, and I totally get that. So what if you let her START nursing, and then broke the latch before it got to the point where she'd normally bite you, and waited until letdown before popping her back on? Not super convenient, for sure, but at least you wouldn't feel like bubblegum. And I'd imagine it's just a phase - she doesn't know your nipples have feelings, so she's not trying to be mean. But it can be hard not to take it personally.

Also, I really like what Gretchen said. It's so hard to let go of the ideal in your head.

Also, Peggy is, like, a breastfeeding fairy. She totally saved my nursing relationship with Paisley early on.

Hang in there!

 
At March 25, 2011 at 11:38 PM , Blogger Uniquely Normal Mom said...

Thanks, Amy, for your great idea! India (you like her name?? Great memories there with you, friend), has hardly bit at all in the last two days....maybe she read my blog? ;)

I'm hoping the phase is coming to an end, because like you said, she doesn't really get what she's doing. She just wants to eat, and eat NOW.

 
At March 26, 2011 at 1:02 AM , Blogger Vanessa said...

I posted this right when you posted your blog, but I don't know why it never showed up here?? Anyway, in case any of your readers stumble across this and it may help:

I don't really have any advice for you because outside of Zoelle biting me once or twice, the others never did/have. I was going to ask you what Gretchen already did, have you tested? Many of my friends who have had this problem have later found out either their fertility was coming back (changing the taste of the milk) or they were pregnant (again changing taste or losing supply). Either way I hope you and India can get back to a wonderful nursing relationship!

 
At August 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM , Anonymous Uniquely Normal Mom said...

Thanks, Amy, for your great idea! India (you like her name?? Great memories there with you, friend), has hardly bit at all in the last two days....maybe she read my blog? ;)

I'm hoping the phase is coming to an end, because like you said, she doesn't really get what she's doing. She just wants to eat, and eat NOW.

 
At August 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM , Anonymous Uniquely Normal Mom said...

Man, I have some knowledgeable friends! Thank you all for reading this and responding with your stories and advice. It's SO nice to know I'm not alone!

Today, India has only bit me one time, and it was pretty gentle! :) So maybe all that stopping and starting is working.

Devora - Thanks for sharing...if I get desperate, I might have to tap her cheek or something. Like you said, it's a short payment for the chance to BF longer.
Salena - I will talk with Peggy if this continues - great idea!

Gretchen - You made me LOL! THANK YOU for your encouragement! It means a lot!

Megan - I was thinking of you as I wrote this as you've been through SO much! You are my breasfeeding hero! <3

Salena - If this continues, I think I will contact Peggy. What a great idea!

Melissa - YOU are a champ! I cannot imagine biting from day 1!! I've heard of pulling the child into your breast to stop the clamping...might have to try that one too. And yes, breasts of steel is totally appropriate! :)

Martha!! I'm so happy you stopped by and even happier that you said 'hi'! I've kept up with you briefly through Sarah and your MIL's postings on FB. Are you on FB? I'd love to connect with you!

 
At August 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM , Anonymous Martha said...

What a delight it was for me to stumble upon your blog last night, Genevieve! I was your camp counselor very long ago :) You have a beautiful family. I hear of your family every once in awhile through our mutual friend, Sarah Thacker. Sorry about the biting! That's no fun. I nursed my 3 little ones for 2 years each, and I've definitely experienced my share of that!

Martha Erickson

 
At August 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM , Anonymous Megan said...

So sorry to hear she is biting. I never really realized before I had Scarlett just how difficult breastfeeding can be at times! It is also hard when you have a child who doesn't respond like you think they should to the various things you have tried. My advice is to just keep trying everything you can think of. Eventually it may work itself out. After struggling with bleeding/cracked nipples for over 12 weeks I was so ready to give up. It is hard to deal with pain, but we know it is so worth it. Hopefully it is just a phase she will get through!! Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I can give you encouragement. Also kellymom.com is an awesome site which may have some ideas for you to try.

 
At August 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM , Anonymous Devora said...

DEVORA said, not Derek. :)

 

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