You're going where? Afghanistan?!?! Part 1

This was the response from a lot of people when we told everyone that we were going to Afghanistan in the fall of 2004.  We didn't think it was that strange of a thing, being that we had many friends who had been there, and several other countries that are deemed even worse than Afghanistan.

When people hear how many countries we've been to, and what sort of work we used to do, they often ask what our favorite country is.  Without a doubt, my favorite country that we've ever been to is Afghanistan. 

It is raw, it is the ugly truth, it is corrupt, it is 'backwards', it is abusive, it is destitute, it is full of lies, it is full of death.  Those are all the things we 'know' about Afghanistan. 

I would move there in a heartbeat. I love this country.

But I also know a different side.

Afghanistan is also beautiful. Full of life. 

We also have a lot to learn from Afghanistan; mostly her people. It's full of loyal people, who want to dance, express themselves and are curious. 

There is hope.  I love the slowness of life, the community, the fierce protection of customs, the simplicity.

 The value of relationship and focus on person and not your own schedule or agenda is precious.  The Afghans believe God has something to do with every aspect of their life.

I want to share just a small bit about Afghanistan and my love for this country and her people.  My heart is overwhelmed with love for this land. 


There are nights when I can't sleep because memories and questions about people that I love that live there, play through my head.  I want to know how they are doing.

Dallas' days were filled with teaching English at the United Nations.  I spent my days teaching computer courses to Afghan women, learning Dari, teaching English, and doing some data entry.  We all spent our nights in our homes, bound by a 5:00pm curfew, stricenforced for our safety.

War has ripped this land to shreds. 

Decades of war have left fields full of abandoned tanks, that children use as playgrounds.

Every single person has lost at the very least one family member because of the war.  Every single person. 

Kidnapped by the Taliban.   

Stepped on a land mine. 

'Lost' on a trip to a nearby city. 

Killed by a US bomb or missile.

Every single person has lost at the very least one family member, not war-related.  Every single person.

Unclean drinking water. 

A woman burns herself alive to commit suicide. 

A child has a simple disease that eventually kills him. 

She only needed a c-section.

My pregnant friend.  Her baby died girl while we were there, and according to what I could translate it was shoulder distochia. The hospital was atrocious and it broke my heart to watch her mourn, while no one else was upset because 'it was only a girl' and amidst other women giving birth in that hospital.

Every single person has someone in their family that is dealing with a major physical ailment.

Fistula after childbirth.

Loss of limbs from a land mine.

Burn scars.

A limp from an abusive husband.

Every single person has experienced major trauma.

Rape.

Loss of a child.

Bride stealing.

Loss of basic dignity that every person deserves.

 Every single person is affected by many of these tragedies.  When I think my life is rough, I remember theirs.

 I didn't write the stories down when I was in Afghanistan because I was so used to hearing them. From every person.

It can be harrowing and disheartening listening to the stories.  But you do learn how to let it empower you, but yet not control your emotions.
 

Sometimes.  But sometimes not.

My husband's friend, Jaweed, told us the story of his first wife.  They were betrothed in marriage when she was around 8 and he was maybe 12 (people don't often know their age in Afghanistan as they don't keep track of birthdays).  When she was about 10 they were officially married.  We met her when she was 14 or so and he was maybe 18 or 19.  He was very unhappy with his wife.  When we asked him why, he said it was because she had killed their firstborn child, a son. 

To be continued ....

*the story of Jaweed's wife

*the suicide bomb and safety

and

*the average woman's life in Afghanistan