Rest for Mom's whose babies AREN'T sleeping through the night

"Is she sleeping through the night yet?"

Not joking, I got asked this question when India was two days old.

Two days old!

I thought it was a joke, until I saw that, no, this was indeed being asked in a serious manner.  I kindly said that no, she's not.

After the question, "Is she a good baby?", the sleeping through the night question is probably one of the questions I get asked the most.  Oh, and I get asked about cloth diapers a lot (post to come about that too)!

Sometimes when asked, I just politely say no, other times I share information about how quickly breastmilk is digested and how most babies aren't designed to sleep through the night in the beginning.  But still, as a mom, I've gotten the stink eye because my baby doesn't sleep through the night yet. *sigh*  Sleeping through the night isn't a badge for good parenting.

It actually may surprise some of you that I DON'T want my baby to sleep through the night yet!  Let me explain.

Nighwaking is for survival in the beginning of a baby's life.  Babies have tiny tummies and breastmilk is absorbed within 1-3 hours of it being ingested.  That's why babies shouldn't normally go longer than 3 hours between feedings. I know I rarely go three hours without eating something!! Between the ages of 3-6 months, you can expect 1-2 nightwakings (more often for some babies). If a baby is missing this, and by missing this, I mean someone other than the baby has decided to skip the feeding, the baby is potentially missing out on vital nutrients. 

I'm a firm believer that just as we listen to our bodies when we are tired or hungry and we know what tiredness and hunger feels like, babies do the same thing.  They are born knowing what hunger is and what it isn't.  If a babies body needs sleep more that it needs a feeding, it's body will decide that. I know some nights when India is very tired, she will sleep for 8 hours(YIKES!) before wanting to eat.  Some babies sleep through the night at 8 weeks, while their older brother who is 3 years old still isn't sleeping through the night.

Which brings me to my next reason that I'm in no rush to get India sleeping longer - I really don't want my fertility back any time soon. As cute as India is, I'd rather just focus on her right now, thankyouverymuch.

God has designed women's body with built-in birth control through breastfeeding.  In practice, it's called lactational amenorrhea method.  Within the first 6 months of a child's life, if the mother is exclusively breastfeeding, not going for longer than 4 hours between day feedings and 6 hours between night feedings, and feeding on cue, not on a schedule, her fertility most likely won't return.  It has less than a 1% failure rate, if followed correctly. 

Some people who follow an even stricter method, don't see a return of their cycles until 14 months or more!  Since I most likely will do natural weaning with India, I wouldn't mind at all if I was that person!

Before you go and pull the goalie, and blame your next pregnancy on me, know that there is always an exception to every rule. Case in point, Michelle Duggar, who has publicly said that she ovulates even while exclusively breastfeeding. 

And I know 80 of you are saying, but so-and-so had kids back to back.  Well, maybe so-and-so is like Michelle Duggar or maybe so-and-so didn't follow the directions and supplemented with table food or added a little cereal to the babies bottle. Or something like that.

Probably the number one reason parents want babies to sleep through the night is so they aren't bothered and can get sleep.  No doubt, good sleep is imperative to mental and physical health.  I've seen the effects of that myself, although not since I've had a baby.  India was naturally a great sleeper, so we have been spoiled. However, we co-sleep, and that has added to the hours we sleep! 

Instead of getting up out of bed and sitting and feeding India, which would make me very tired, and miss much sleep, I (or Dallas) just grab her out of her bassinet that's in our room and bring her into bed at 3am, or whenever she wakes to eat. 

Very little fussing so we don't wake Dallas, and I miss 10 minutes of sleep at the most, as India and I fall right back to sleep together.  If she needs to eat at a later point, we just do some rearranging, and she is back to eating.  She then stays in our bed until she wakes up at 8am or 9am. 

One of my favorite parts of the day is when I'm awakened by my little girl, touching my face, "talking" and smiling at me when I wake up in the morning. 

It's not an inconvenience having her in our bed, and Dallas and I both sleep better when she is with us, but I know some parents can't sleep well with their little one in bed with them. Dallas didn't think he could either, so she was just going to stay near me, but after a week or so, he was very comfrotable with her in our bed and would even "sneak" her out of her bed to come and sleep with us!

Another concern people have about co-sleeping is "you'll never be able to get them out of your bed". Really? How many 13 year olds are still sleeping with their parents?  And I'm even willing to ask how many 4 year olds are still sleeping with their parents nightly, against their parent's wishes? 

Only 70% of babies sleep through the night at 9 months.  So if you are like me, and your little one isn't sleeping through the night, and you feel or have felt pressure that he or she needs to be doing that, don't worry about it so much.  Most likely, it's normal.  And knowing your baby is "normal" and that it's OK, is REST for any mom. :-)

How about you? Has sleep been a difficult subject for your family? When did you kids sleep through the night?  Did you experience many different sleep patterns throughout your child's early years?

Short article on infant sleep
Links about co-sleeping

*Please note, I am by NO means a sleep expert....this is just what has been working for us!! If it helps someone else, great! If not, just disregard it! :)